JaZmine Sullivan - Fearless (Album Review)

I had been thinking about doing album reviews but I didn't know if I really felt like giving the effort - Seems like that would interfere with my laziness. But, I decided to review the new JaZmine Sullivan album Fearless.1. "Bust Your Windows"
This is her second single. I kind of want to like this song. Kind of. I really like the beat. According to wiki it was produced by Salaam Remi and samples "Bad Man Waltz" by Salaam Remi... Whatever that means, lol. Her voice isn't as grating on this song as the first single ("Need U Bad") but it's still not great. As for the lyrical content, it's about what you would expect. You broke my heart/So I broke your car/You caused me pain/So I did the same. Nothing really profound here.

2. "Need U Bad"
I hate this song. I just absolutely hate it. Missy Elliott's ja-fake-in thing she does irks me. JaZmine's voice irks me. The lyrics irk me. I need you bad I can't take this pain/Boy, I'm 'bout to go insane. GROSS. I'll say something positive though... It's catchy in that annoying way that you'll find yourself screeching singing it later.

3. "My Foolish Heart"
My guess is this is filler. It's forgettable in every way. Matter of fact, I had to start it over because I didn't realize it had come on while I was editing the intro of this review.

4. "Lions, Tigers, & Bears"
I'll admit... I love this song. I love it so much that it got the repeat treatment weeks ago. I love the orchestral arrangement in the background - Salaam Remi does it again! The lyrics really talk to that young and girlish side of me. I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears (oh my!)/But I'm scared of loving you.... Why do we love love when love seems to hate us? She got me on this one, I won't lie. Her voice still sounds nasally and whiny but I ignore it.

5. "Call Me Guilty"
The song opens with a phone call between JaZmine and her mom where she tells her mom, "Mom, he did it again... He hit me." The song goes on a hypothetical journey where she wonders if she should kill her abusive boyfriend. I almost want to give her props for boldly taking on a subject usually ignored in mainstream R&B and not trying to cover it up in metaphors. You know exactly what she's saying. The lyrics are straight forward: 'Cause if you knew what he did to me/I know I would get your sympathy/So if they catch me/I still ain't sorry/Just lock me up and/Call me guilty. The song itself, however, isn't all that interesting. It's actually quite boring.

6. "One Night Stand"
Hmm... I'm on the fence about this song. The chorus is pretty catchy. It starts off slow and forgettable but when it picks up it's almost infectious. Her voice is also less annoying on it. Content wise, she sings of a hook-up that went further than she intended. He was supposed to be a one night stand.

7. "After the Hurricane"
Predictable and boring. The way you broke my heart/and now I'm left with the pain/After the hurricane... Yawn.

8. "Dream Big"
More Missy Elliott... Yay! (/sarcasm) The song is about exactly what the title makes you think it's about... having big dreams! She's going to take that big journey to the magical land of Los Angeles and give it her best shot! The song sounds like something scrapped from a Disney Channel original movie starring one of the Mowry siblings or Raven-Symoné or one of the other ethnic people they allow into their programming. Maybe it'd fit in nicely in another Cheeetah Girls sequel.

9. "Live a Lie"
I had to listen to this song like 20x (exaggeration) to make sure I understood what was going on. She mumbles/whines through the whole song and it's boring so I kept getting confused. Here's what I got: She got drunk one night and went to her boo's house (I think?) and caught him with some chick and she wish she hadn't. She'd rather live a lie. I guess she's operating on ignorance is bliss... Fuck living a lie. I'd rather be heartbroken than played, BUT THAT'S JUST ME.

10. "Fear"
The song contradicts my personal jam, "Lions, Tigers & Bears" because in that song she runs through how she's not scared of much except loving her boo but this song says she's scared of basically everything. Which is it? At first listen, the song probably seems familiar to most because she samples a Stevie Wonder song: I Was Made To Love Her. As much as Stevie samples touch my heart, I couldn't get into this song.

11. "In Love With Another Man"
This is the other song that everyone else seems to like... Everyone but me. It seems she's going for more a bluesy feel as she (again) whines over the track and tells her poor lover that she is sorry but she is in love with someone else. I guess I can see why people would like this song but it just doesn't work for me. It mainly comes down to the fact that her voice couldn't pull off that bluesy agony she was going for. As much as I hate to say it - Fantasia Barrino probably would have killed this song (and I swear, I can't STAND Fantasia Barrino.)

12. "Switch!"
The most playful of the tracks. It has an old school feel to it and it's pretty cute. It's about how she thinks her and her man should SWITCH! She likes his best friend and is offering up her female friend. Like I said, the song is cute.... But not cute enough to keep when you hate the rest of the album (save for one song.)

In case you didn't notice, I did not like the album. It seems that most other reviewers loved it but I am not on that train. It's not because I'm not her target audience - I'm her age, I'm a black woman, I'm a man-hater/lover, I dig R&B, I hate Rihanna, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill changed my life... I'm supposed to like this shit but I DON'T. Plus, it's lacking in depth. Pretty much every song is about some dude or at least references lurve. I swear people are so thirsty for someone with a shred of talent that they give credit where it is not due. Like my friend Lenoir Tyrannical says, "she sounds like she's got a chest cold." ...And if I hear/read one more person comparing her to Lauryn Hill I will bust some heads till the white meat shows! I even heard Phyllis Hyman comparisons... LIKE, SERIOUSLY? WTF? I give her MAD PROPS though for being a songwriter. But if you don't like my review, read Allmusic's - they gave her 4.5 stars... I'd give the ONE SONG I'll keep 4 stars.

Worst of all though, I HATE THE WAY SHE SPELLS HER NAME. IT'S J-A-S-M-I-N-E. Damnit.

(There's a bonus track but I didn't care enough about it to look for it. Also, if you want to hear something good - Check this out.)

White Privilege

(Saw this a couple days ago... It came to my mind again so I decided to post it this time. Thanks Jinnelle.)

For those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin’ redneck," like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their fuckin' ass," and talk about how you like to "shoot shit" for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn’t added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you. White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don’t even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look."

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn’t support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O’Reilly means you’re dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it, a "light" burden.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren’t sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain.

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

-Tim Wise (anti-racist activist and writer; author of White Like Me: Reflections on Race From a Privileged Son)

She's Come Undone

For the past week or two, but mainly the past five or six days, I have been engrossed in a book called She's Come Undone. It was apparently one of the books featured in Oprah's Book Club but I don't pay much attention to Ms. Winfrey so I was only driven to read it because of one word - undone. This is a word I've used to describe myself for the last 7 years. What I meant was that the sugary sweet persona of happiness I tried to perfect was unraveling and I was powerless to stop it. A couple of months ago I made a promise to myself to not be ashamed of the things I go through; to be just as honest about my highs as my lows. The last two years of my life have been one continuous low and I have been doing everything in the world to avoid acknowledging the fact.

Repression. My plan had been to repress everything I have been feeling and try to resume life as usual. I was going to ignore everything that was going on around me and throw myself into other things. This seemed to have worked for me previously, as a young girl but no longer. I was holding myself together with mud and then a hurricane came and washed me away. All that is left now is pieces. I look back at pictures of me just before I began to lose composure. Through forced smiles and perfectly matched outfits, I still know I was at the very least a real person. I was not fragmented like I am now. I was a whole person once. If you look at the pieces you will see - they were once part of a whole. Now I'm aimless trying to find out who I am now and who I used to be.

Remember I said I wanted to share things I write because maybe sharing these things can help someone. Everyone should read She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. The book is raw and honest in it's portrayal of what repression can do to a person. The themes in the book (spousal abuse, rape, abortion, mental illness, death, love) are all explained in the point of view of someone who feels unloved and incapable of being loved - the abused. The book affirmed conclusions I had already reached on my own. The most important being this: For years I walked around in shame hiding all my dirty secrets, covering up for sins committed against me. It took me a long time to accept that these things are not my fault. These things happen to people. Molestation happens to good people. Rape happens to good people. Physical and mental abuse happens to good people. Neglect happens to good people.

I wonder if I will always at least be partially this way - partially broken. They say once you're an addict you're always an addict, just in recovery. Had I been honest with myself and those who were trying to help from the beginning I wonder where I'd be at right now... But I can't think like that. I can only think of the now and the now is this is me. Flawed and incomplete but on the road to recovery. And if you are walking around harboring dark secrets that keep you shrouded in sadness and shame, let it out. Chose whichever method you are most comfortable with but let it out. Free yourself. Freedom is the only path to true happiness.

-Jasmine

BLACK GIRLS ARE AWESOME (For Those of You Who Don't Know So!)

I'm a pretty open person. Some say I'm weird but I prefer atypical, better yet - eccentric. From a very early age, my mom showed me that I don't have to live up to anybody else's expectations of what I should be. Growing up with such a non-judgemental mother allowed me to favor the Backstreet Boys to Blackstreet, No Doubt to Destiny's Child, basketball to ballet, dresses with shorts to pants, black to pink, to Boys Meets World to Hangin' With Mr. Cooper, etc. I have never felt the need to tie my identity to things deemed black, feminine, southern, or anything else that I'm supposed to be. I like what I like and I make no apologies, explanations, or excuses for my often random likes and dislikes.

It has come to my attention on numerous occasions that black girls and women are all expected to (basically) be one way. It seems a good chunk of you missed the memo that we are not all into long weaves, neck-rolling, hoop earrings, blunts, misplaced anger, etc. To be honest, I don't have much in common with most of the black girls I know and they don't have much in common with each other. Do you know what this means? WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT! ;) I chose that picture of Jack Davey because I think she represents what I'm saying here. She fronts J*DaVeY (the new Groove Theory), an R&B/Funk duo made of awesome and win. I'm willing to bet if she chose not to don mohawks and headdresses, she would become more appealing to most people. If she would just be that bland, safe, cutesy image of a black chick that the music industry keeps forcing down our throats... But she's not and she shouldn't have to be. Not only that, how she chooses to express herself shouldn't be seen as weird and/or shocking when the same reaction wouldn't be given to a white chick (if we're being honest).

...Now that you know what I'm trying to say here... Let me tell you what happened. I went out with some friends tonight and out of nowhere (it seemed), one of them says, "I know my children will be light because my wife will be white or Asian because I don't do blackies. No offense to you. [meaning me]" He, of course, is Wesley Snipes black. My other friends at the table scurried off, as they assumed I was about ready to lay a verbal assault on his ignant ass... But I didn't, not really anyway. I tried to engage in a civil conversation with him; I tried not to involve too many emotions. He told me it wasn't that he didn't like black girls, it's just that this is what he gravitates to because of where he's from. YOU KNOW THIS WAS A COPOUT TO THE SUBURBAN GANGSTER HERSELF, but I let it slide and let him continue. He told me that black girls, or at least the ones he knows, aren't into the things he likes - Anime, photography, rock music. They are all into that gangster rap and he can't deal with that. (For my DMV people, he's from PG County/MoCo... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!) He told me that he can't be faulted for his preference. The only other female there (a Korean/white blend) tried to explain his point of views from a sociologist's standpoint. They all started talking r e a l s l o w to me like I didn't understand them when I was the only completely sober person at the table (shocker, I know).

I won't even go into the self-hatred issues I'm convinced this boy has (and nope, not because of his "preference"). I asked him and the other black guy at the table, "Are your mothers black? Is she an angry hoodrat?" They replied, "No." "So how is it that you can say to me that you don't know not ONE black female who doesn't fit this stereotype when you know HER?" Then I went on to say, "And... YOU KNOW ME! Are you now saying I fit this stereotype too?" I am tired of people not acknowledging the variety pack that is the black female. Like I told these dudes, if I based my opinion of all black men solely on my experiences with black men... I wouldn't ever talk to a black man ever again. EVER. ...And the, "I don't know many black girls" argument - OBNOXIOUS. Meet some damnit!

This is a call to action to all out there who think we are all one way, all those who view us negatively... Try a black girl today! Go befriend one! Talk to one at work/school/the grocery store/etc.! You would be surprised (apparently) at how friendly we can be. Don't just assume we don't share your interests! Half the Anime club at my school was black girls! We like rock music too! Damn, some of us grew up going to country clubs too! I appreciate green tea and noodles! You wouldn't believe how many black women HATE mainstream rap music! And YES, I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC DAMNIT! Stop trying to pigeonhole us and give us a chance before you assume we're angry, uneducated, and bitter!

I Am Not A Slut (Fixed For You L.F.B)

This year, the MTV VMAs were over-hyped as usual and I'm embarrassed as hell to even admit that I watched portions of that abomination but, I did. The show wasn't much of a show at all, I think I forgot it was on but there was a moment when Jordin Sparks decided to defend, of all things, promise (purity) rings. The ridiculous host of the show, Russel Brand had been going hard on Fake Hanson The Jonas Brothers for their decision to remain virgins until married and wear promise/purity rings. Now look, I don't really care one way or the other... Do I think it's noble or special or sweet or the right thing to do? Nope. I really don't. I actually think it's kind of stupid. But I operate on to each his own. I can see where sweet-as-pie Jordin got her panties in a twist over Brand's remarks (he was definitely crude the entire night) and I don't fault her for defending her right (and the Jonas Brothers' rights) to not give up the goodies but I do have a problem with her statement.

I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It's not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut.

That is all fine and dandy Miss Sparks (you seem like the type to prefer Miss instead of Ms.) but your statement, though you may not have meant it this way, implies that people who do not remain chaste until marriage are sluts. I am not a slut. Most people I know are not virgins and most of them are not sluts. I don't want to really take aim and issue with Miss Sparks (she's young as hale anyway) but with the attitude that many who choose abstinence have towards the LARGE number of us who don't. So I'm saying this for all the unmarried/never been married/who even knows if I want to ever get married/can't legally get married because the government won't allow it non-virgins - BEING SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND PROMISCUITY ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, THANKS.

Sarah Palin Scares Me

Bree Van de Kamp Hodge, Peg Boggs, Rita Repulsa, and Sarah Palin

I know everyone (especially out there in the danishosphere) is throwing in their two cents on potential vice president, Sarah Palin. I'm going to stay away from all the wtfery of John McCain's craptacular VP pick and explain why lil ol Sarah Palin scares me.

Part 1: Too many similarities to Bree Van de Kamp Hodge. Bree is a character (played by the always believably crazy Marcia Cross) on the popular television series Desperate Housewives. In light of the grandson-son-gate, the comparisons began. Sarah Palin allegedly faked a pregnancy to cover up for her teen daughter, Bree Van de Kamp Hodge actually did it. Bree is also a staunch Republican, a long-term member of the National Rifle Association, anti-abortion, by-the-good-book religious when it counts and when it's convenient, really really white... All of that. If you've never seen Desperate Housewives, believe me when I say Bree is one crazy bitch. Anyone putting me in the mind of her IMMEDIATELY goes on the "One Crazy Bitch" watch list.

Part 2: Have you ever seen Edward Scissorhands? Do you remember the mom? Tell me Sarah Palin does not remind you of her! For the 2 people that read this that have not seen Edward Scissorhands, or simply cannot remember, the mom in Edward Scissorhands was a bored, obnoxious, Avon selling housewife named Peg Boggs. Now... It's not so much about her character traits as it is the way she looks. The ultra matronly outfits, hair, and the same ugly glasses. Plus, it doesn't help that I could totally see Palin trying to force some Avon or Mary Kay on somebody. You may ask, why is this scary? Because you know if she had not gotten involved in politics she'd probably be one of those Susie Homemaker hockey moms and I always think perky suburban housewives are about one burnt cookie from unloading an assault rifle on the whole neighborhood. And if they're a member of the NRA (Palin), they probably have access to some, IDK, rifles. Beware suburbanites, beware.

Part 3: I'm almost positive all power hungry women have a plan to take over the world. Let's face it, I think most power hungry people have a plan to take over the world but women haven't had a fair shake so you know we let our imagination run wild when plotting. Because so few women are in extremely high-powered positions, dreaming of what you would do if you had the power seems more like some far fetched fantasy. Some of us just want to create harmony and come up with a good health care plan... Others have the Rita Repulsa gleam in their eyes. Rita Repulsa was my public enemy number one in the early nineties. That trick was always trying to off the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Everytime Rita would explain her eeeevvuuulll plan she would get this disturbing look in her eye, a gleam if you will. I see that look on Sarah Palin. It's this seemingly innocent squint-smile thing but look again, behind that pretense is the second coming of the Empress of Evil.

When you sum it all up, Sarah Palin is a lying, conniving, rifle toting, bible thumping, possibly bipolar, seemingly friendly and harmless, eeeevvuuulll trickster. She's got everyone fooled with her inexperience. If Jon McCain beats Obama, I will be convinced it was part of her plan that she has concocted and will fully expect for Jon McCain to be incapacitated by February 2009. Watch out America, I gave you fair warning.

Misandry

"As for the issue of whether or not to continue to reproduce males, it doesn't follow that because the male, like disease, has always existed among us that he should continue to exist. When genetic control is possible -- and soon it will be -- it goes without saying that we should produce only whole, complete beings, not physical defects of deficiencies, including emotional deficiencies, such as maleness. Just as the deliberate production of blind people would be highly immoral, so would be the deliberate production of emotional cripples."
—Valeris Solanas, SCUM Manifesto

The Single Life Blues

I've been thinking and drinking heavily for the past week or two, in part, because I've been living the single life blues. Now, I've been fake single (you know, when you're broken up but you're not REALLY broken up) for awhile now but now it's really over. I've been going through all the motions - listening to all kinds of songs to speak my emotions for me until I was ready. I realized just the other day, I haven't known what it's like to be completely single for about 4 years now. When I look back I was always at least talking to some dude or involved in a dramaship. It's strange. I forget that when I meet dudes now it can go beyond flirtations/crushes/revenge hook-ups if I want it to. The worst part about my single life blues is... I want a boyfriend more than I have ever wanted one in my entire life. As a matter of fact, it usually goes that I don't even really want a boyfriend but somehow I ended up in the relationship. (LoL, terrible, I know.)

Unfortunately, I have no clue how to go about this. Do I just do me and wait and hopefully someone will come around? Should I be proactive and look into every given opportunity? I'm already not a shallow girl, personality will always trump looks for me. I don't even really like to date conventionally cute guys because every other girl has already told them how cute they are and I don't have time to deal with inflated egos... Mine is big enough. I don't even trust myself to pick a good guy. The thought process is, "I like him, there MUST BE something wrong with him." My pessimistic nature is telling me that because I actually want a boyfriend for once, I'm going to be lonely and single for a long long time. *Sniffles* I even sent out this mass text message to my friends that said something like, I'm contemplating a non-sexual, romantic relationship with a woman while continuing to use men for sex... How do you feel about it? I was joking (mostly) but I do sometimes feel like a decent dude in such short supply I might as well find a good BFF Jill to do all the non-sexual couples things with and get my rocks off elsewhere. I know I'll miss the emotional connection but it's better than what I have currently (nothing).

People are telling me that I need to hold off anyway - see if this thing with him and I is really over. I can't speak for him but for me, the shit is over. It's a wrap. I got my relationship habits from both of my parents - My father is the type who is in love with love (I suffer from that), my mother is loyal and loves hard but when she's done there is no going back (my other affliction). So given these two traits, my recovery time after I'm actually done is short! It might take me a few tries to be done with you but when I am, the shit is like a distant memory... And that's exactly what he's becoming. I keep forgetting that some of these memories are from a week ago. (LoL!) It's like my new beezy Solange says in her song "Would've Been the One" - I was the one. Yes, I was the one. Keyword is WAS! Yes, I WAS the one!" I'm over that shit and now I'm ready. In the coming weeks I might have some seemingly sad stuff posted about the previous situation but it's not because I'm not over it, it's either because I wrote it before or I'm just reflecting.

To sum all of my rambling up - to bring this to a point, I don't know how to date. This may be in part to age (21) but I don't know how to do it. I don't know where people find dates. I am romantically challenged. I am also a little bit shy (a little known fact and shocking to many that know me). If someone really sparks my interest, I get all uncomfortable and I don't know how to act. I usually hang out with them in a group setting and let the alcohol do the talking for me. I want to take a more mature approach. I'm finally ready to do completely right by someone and I am ready to be done right by but for the first time in my life, I seem to have no potentials. I mean, there's a little crush but it's nothing for real because I think he's still in high school mode and I really don't have time for that, especially from someone older than me. So, it looks like I'm resigned to this single life blues until further notice. BLAH!