To my dismay, my vagina is permanently fiending for dick -- 24/7. I can't explain the stress this puts on our relationship! I swear she plays "Gimme More" on loop! This is where she and I battle. I want to satisfy her, I really do but I can't spend my days doing nothing but fucking! I have things to do! But does she care? Nope. She starts to get excited about 30 minutes after I wake up and I say to her, "Hold on Audrey II! The day has just started." I stay wet all day, everyday because Audrey II is always ready. Guys like it when I say that but, trust me, it's not sexy or fun. It's actually obnoxious. For the guys, picture walking around with a hard-on all day. Would that be fun? I doubt it. When we meet cute guys, she sends hormones to my brain telling it, "We want that one!" I have to shake it off and say, "Audrey II, we can't bone every guy we meet!" People tell me, "Why don't you just masturbate?" And I would but that doesn't work for Audrey II! Foreplay doesn't even really work for Audrey II. It's dick or don't bother. I wonder how it got be like this. Once upon a time we were virgins and we never really thought about sex. Then we weren't virgins and we liked sex but it wasn't an obsession but something happened to us and I don't know what it is.
But it's not just her insatiable appetite for the penis that causes friction. I am blessed and cursed with a magical vagina. I swear that if I go a week or more without sex, the next time I get down it will hurt. The longest I've ever gone (besides the 18 years, 4 months, and 4 days I was a virgin) without any was 1 month and 10 days and when I had sex after that hiatus it was like losing my v-card all over again (ouch). Guys appreciate this little trick of hers because she's always "tight" but I would like it very much if she would loosen up just a little so that I don't chance tears during a sexual experience after a two week interlude. Don't get me wrong! I appreciate her elasticity as one of her finer attributes but a little slack wouldn't kill her!
I don't know what to do about my vagina. I don't hate her the way I hate my horrible uterus (I seriously want a hysterectomy). I just wish she would give me a break. I will try to do as much safe, healthy fornication as possible if she would try and work with me a little. She needs to realize that I won't always be able to deliver (especially during no-boyfriends times, periods, yeast infections, family holidays, relationship drama, etc.). In the mean time, I'll keep watching Def Poetry Jam on YouTube.
"Remember me for my way of getting people into trouble--
I wish to graduate from college,
become an artist, have two kids,
and one day go to heaven."
A childhood friend wrote this ten years ago in our sixth grade yearbook
Last year, she dropped out of art school
Last month, she told me that she was getting an abortion
for the second time
Her last wish before graduating sixth grade was to go to heaven
but this depends on what she does between now
and next Wednesday
This is the girl with the biggest brown eyes
I've ever seen
She's got Venus fly traps for lashes
and lips that make conversation blush
every time she speaks
This is the girl that taught me how to shave my pubes
The same girl that schooled me on how to inhale
seven inch bananas
with no hands
Best friends like sisters
I know her well enough to know that
she's the type who in times of trouble
hides by being stagnant
Says it's her birth right,
see her dad left twenty-three years ago
Stopped paying child-support before she could walk
Stopped calling the following year
And by that Christmas
this man had stopped sending cards all together
And I wish
I had hugged her more when we were younger
Back then, baby used to cut herself with broken pieces of father
Swallow them whole
then molds herself like wet clay
inside mens bodies
even though it bothered her when they talked about fathers
All grown, she buries herself
beneath layers of player façade
Searching for touch
she doesn't even remember
Thinks every other mans hands will mend her
Twenty-three years of neglect
She lets these men run ins and out on her
just like he did
And I wanna tell her
You've got men grabbing at you from every angle
But if you don't feel like getting down tonight
It's alright, girl, just say so
Next Wednesday, is more than an abortion day
It's about change
So jump through
Move
Run, if you have to
But don't look back
I will be here
Gouging fistfuls of lavender for safe-keeping
Tattoo their silhouette across your chest
So you never forget
You are my first love
So breathe free
Cause your own future can't afford to lose you
And baby, neither can we
