Thinking Out Loud (So To Speak...)

In just two years
A baby goes from just being able to move its head
To walking, talking, feeding itself
Communicating how it thinks and feels
So many little milestones on the path to becoming a toddler

In the last two years
I've been to two different schools
Lived in two different states
Almost lost you in a car accident
Only to lose you to somebody else a month later
I've broken your heart
You've broken mine
My mom survived breast cancer
I've made friends and lost friends
We've broken up and always made up
So many good times but many more bad times
And through it all I've kept my strength

But you question my strength
You question the strength of my love for you
You don't see how in "such a short time"
I can feel so strongly
You do not trust my word
You do not believe that I love you

The lover in me wants to prove myself to you
Pull out all the stops
Paint the story of my love over melodies
And sing them to you

The rest of me wonders
Why I should have to prove my love
To someone who has not proven their love to me

You hold the past over my head
And I can admit that the way I was acting
I did not have OUR best interest at heart
But I'm not that girl anymore
And I'm not trying to hurt you anymore

BUT THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
You insist that I am dramatizing my feelings
And I just think that I love you
And you're not going to let me break your heart -- again
And you're not going to let me play these games

WHAT GAMES?
It seems to me you're the only one playing games these days
I don't get it
I thought maybe it was about sex
So I stopped giving it to you
And you stick around
And pick fights with me
And tell me you love me
And then take it back
And tell me that I don't love you
I just don't get it

I don't like who we're becoming
You said you want it to be how it used to be
But I don't think it can
Why can't we just find a new way to be
Or not be at all?

It scares me that we're turning into a Lauryn Hill song
It could all be so simple, but you'd rather make it hard
When all you have to do is say what you mean and mean what you say
Everything else will work itself out

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Now playing: Lauryn Hill - Ex-Factor
via FoxyTunes

They Don't Make 'Em Like This Anymore

"I don't care how many times it has been done; I am putting my own two cents on the album that carried me from pre-teen to teen to young woman to beginning almost-real adulthood. Everybody can have their opinions but (to me) The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill is the 1990's hip-hop/r&b answer to Songs In The Key Of Life. For the soul purists this may be a big claim but I'm just saying what this album has meant to me. My auntie Lucy bought this CD for my 12th birthday in 1998 and nearly 10 years later I'm catching lines I missed."
-Me

That's what I wrote last night/this morning when I thought to myself that I was going to write about this album that serves as my life soundtrack. Then, like usual, I got distracted and went off elsewhere but today I decided to come back to what I had intended to say. What I intended to say is that maybe I take things differently than other people... Maybe I put to much into music... Maybe it has too big of a presence in my life. If that is true SO BE IT! I am a music lover and though I am (admittedly) not the most fickle of music lovers it is rare that I can listen to an entire album on repeat without skipping and never get bored. This album... *DEEP SIGH* This album is about LOVE in every form.

• Difficult/Painful Love - "Ex-Factor"
• Love Of Your Child - "To Zion"
  
• Love Yourself Young Women and Men - "Doo Wop (That Thing)"
• Love For God (Beautiful song, though I'm not religious) - "Tell Him"

I could actually go on and on but I'm trying not to be TOO long-winded. Lauryn Hill has inspired many. You look on Youtube and there are countless covers of her songs by musicians (both professional and amateur). Sadly, The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill is her only solo studio album. Lauryn Hill has become known for her semi-crazy antics. People have alleged she is a racist based off of quotes that she never said (See: Wikipedia). Do I wish that she could somehow go back to the Lauryn that made this beautiful album? Yes. But Lauryn contends that the Lauryn I (and many like me) long for was not the real Lauryn Hill and that she was not being completely true to herself.

"People need to understand that the Lauryn Hill they were exposed to in the beginning was all that was allowed in that arena at that time. There was much more strength, spirit and passion, desire, curiosity, ambition and opinion that was not allowed in a small space designed for consumer mass appeal and dictated by very limited standards. I had to step away when I realized that for the sake of the machine, I was being way too compromised. I felt uncomfortable about having to smile in someone’s face when I really didn’t like them or even know them well enough to like them."
-Lauryn Hill

So I guess she is never "coming back." That is her right. It will not stop me from enjoying this masterpiece. But I just need someone to tell VIBE MAGAZINE that Amy Winehouse will NEVER be Lauryn Hill, not that I take much credit in Vibe Magazine anyway. "Forgive them father, they know not what they do..."


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Now playing: Lauryn Hill - Every Ghetto, Every City
via FoxyTunes