Catch 22

22 years ago today they cut my mommy open and pulled me out. Yes, today is my BIRTHDAY. The days leading up to my birthday were full of mixed emotions, particularly the final week. You see, my good friend Elisha (the one who was murdered) would have had his 21st birthday on Nov. 12, 2008 - exactly one week prior to my 22nd birthday. I look at this picture from his birthday this year and think to myself how wrong this is. Was today a good day? Yes. Better than I could have ever anticipated (given my emotions leading to my birthday)? Yes. I just missed him so much today. I didn't get much time with him but if you would have known him you would know that forgetting him is impossible. Anyway, I am very thankful for the special people in my life who made this one of my best birthdays ever. I don't know if it's because my expectations were so low but it's really been super and it's not even over yet. I mean, JAHMAL TONGE told me Happy Birthday! ;) So without further adieu - Pointless personal pictures to further prove I am a weirdo. Thanks for reading about my dull life and random thoughts.

-la jasmine exquise-

Birthday Kick-off double fisting: signature pose. Hope you like the tiara.

Actual birthday (11/19/08): Bored, anticipating my fiesta with my mom!

Fiesta! Fiesta!

P.S.: I'M SICK AGAIN GUYS!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! /sarcasm

I Want You

you mess with my mind
thoughts skip and repeat like a scratched CD
I shake my head in defeat
because there seems to be no release
staggered heartbeats and clammy palms don't lie
I want you
and it would seem that this fact is
inescapable

I tried to drink you out
sleep you out
read you out
exercised and exorcised
even tried to fuck you out
but I can't convince myself
despite my best efforts
that I don't want you

tried to figure it out
how I became so fixated
everytime I try to rationalize
I end up lost in moments
and picturing your smile
I wish I knew your voodoo
you're not even that cute

the reasons are lost to me
I just know that
logic has failed me
my emotions betrayed me
denial no longer being an option
I must accept how badly
I want you

Erykah Badu - I Want You

Misandry

"As for the issue of whether or not to continue to reproduce males, it doesn't follow that because the male, like disease, has always existed among us that he should continue to exist. When genetic control is possible -- and soon it will be -- it goes without saying that we should produce only whole, complete beings, not physical defects of deficiencies, including emotional deficiencies, such as maleness. Just as the deliberate production of blind people would be highly immoral, so would be the deliberate production of emotional cripples."
—Valeris Solanas, SCUM Manifesto

HELLO BITCHES

THIS IS MY NEWEST POST. SHAY HATES THEM FUCKIN KIDS Y'ALL. PLEASE EXCUSE MY LUNCHINNESS. I IS DRUNK. THE TV IS GONNA CAUSE EPILEPSY. IM FUCKED UP. WATERMELON MARTINIS ARE LOVELY. YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE HAVE A GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND WEEKEND. <3 JASMINE A.K.A. LISA FUCKIN TURTLE



P.S.: WHY DO I HEAR MEXICANS?

Depressed (and in need of a decongestant)

No joke, I have been sick on and off since November 2007. It's mainly been flu-like symptoms that go from little to big and debilitating in days. :( I have been to the doctor's a few times and they tell me the same thing all the time -- "It's allergies." I don't buy that bullshit. I've had horrible allergies since I was in elementary school and I live in Maryland (I swear everyone has allergies here) so I definitely know what allergies feel like. THIS IS NOT ALLERGIES. After realizing I don't have tuberculosis or bronchitis I can only come up with one thing... I'M DYING. I must have some sort of terminal illness that is slowly taking over my body and the only thing I can do to soothe the trauma of impending doom is to drug myself heavily with NyQuil. The problem with this NyQuil is:

1. I'm developing an immunity to it.
2. The comedown sucks.

I get all sad and start thinking about my dreary jobless, schooless, purposeless life, man problemed life. Like Weezy F. Baby says, "Only once the drugs are done that I feel like dying, I feel like dying." So this is my comedown and I'm depressed and thinking about my miserable life. But to quote another mediocre rapper, "See, to live is suffer but to survive, well, that's to find meaning in the suffer." Now enjoy a classic video to fit my mood:

No really, watch it.



Les will probably classify this post as "dramatical."

MY NIGHT

(((((DISCLAIMER: THIS IS THE ONLY SENTENCE I'M TRYING TO MAKE SURE IS RIGHT. IF ANYTHING ELSE IS ALL FUCKED UP, I SOWWIE -- I AM DRUNK.))))

I went out tonight trying to forget everything about that stupid stupid boy that I lurve. So this is how my night started:

I was feeling like Usher... DON'T LEAVE YO DUDE ROUND ME, TRUE PLAYA FA REAL.

But I heard this:
This is the song you played for me when I was in ATLANTA and you were trying to tell me you liked me (this was before it was a single BTW.)

The more I danced the more songs of ours they played and now I'm sad so I feel like this:


But really:
No seriously, WHY SHOULD I BE SAD?

Remember That I Love You♥

I'm WUI (writing under the influence) again. Well, I don't know if I'm really WUI because I didn't do anything to feel inebriated but my mom made apple cobbler and put a lot of rum in it so now I feel kind of buzzed. Anyway... I'm listening to this song by Kimya Dawson called "Loose Lips" (on repeat because that's what I do) and it makes me smile. I won't drag on about it but I will say that the song (to me) is about hope and I think a little hope is something we could all use every now and then... Some of us more often than others (I'm included in the latter).

So I'd like to say this to anyone who reads this unless you are my brother (the full-blooded one that's still living), Jessica Cooper, a child molester, a rapist, a woman beater, or any other kind of disgusting person:

So if you wanna burn yourself, remember that I Love You
And if you wanna cut yourself, remember that I Love You
And if you wanna kill yourself, remember that I Love You
Call me up before you're dead, we can make some plans instead
Send me an IM, I'll be your friend
-Kimya Dawson "Loose Lips"

I mean it too and you should check out more of her music. If you've seen Juno, you've heard some of her music but you should really hear more. She's good and I think her songs are cute.
And again, all decent, non-evil people... Remember that I love you♥. :)


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Now playing: Kimya Dawson - Loose Lips
via FoxyTunes

Beginnory

I asked my friend Les what another word for "Introductory" was... "Beginnory" is what he gave me. So this is the beginnory of my... my... Blog. I don't like that word though so from here on out when you (the collective you) see me saying "Danish" I am referring to my blog. What does one say in a beginnory? Do I say why I chose to start a danish? The answer to that would be peer pressure and of course boredom. Do I say what one can expect to find in my danish? Umm... One should expect everything.

That is my friend, Lortab.

This is my other friend, Dye-Free Benadryl.

I present them just to say, though I am admittedly spacey I'm not always as spacey as I may appear right now. Not sure if I do. But I have taken some Lortabs for menstrual cramps and two Benadryl for my allergies. I'm like... Trying to keep my eyes open so is felt like time for a danish. I'm avoiding two very important tasks right now... Fixing my ID3 tags and making an mp3 for Les out of some Youtube video. But I've to run out of songs by The Cool Kids to listen to so I think I'm officially done with this danish. The next one should better. I like to be optimistic.

 

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Now playing: The Cool Kids - Black Mags
via FoxyTunes