BLACK GIRLS ARE AWESOME (For Those of You Who Don't Know So!)

I'm a pretty open person. Some say I'm weird but I prefer atypical, better yet - eccentric. From a very early age, my mom showed me that I don't have to live up to anybody else's expectations of what I should be. Growing up with such a non-judgemental mother allowed me to favor the Backstreet Boys to Blackstreet, No Doubt to Destiny's Child, basketball to ballet, dresses with shorts to pants, black to pink, to Boys Meets World to Hangin' With Mr. Cooper, etc. I have never felt the need to tie my identity to things deemed black, feminine, southern, or anything else that I'm supposed to be. I like what I like and I make no apologies, explanations, or excuses for my often random likes and dislikes.

It has come to my attention on numerous occasions that black girls and women are all expected to (basically) be one way. It seems a good chunk of you missed the memo that we are not all into long weaves, neck-rolling, hoop earrings, blunts, misplaced anger, etc. To be honest, I don't have much in common with most of the black girls I know and they don't have much in common with each other. Do you know what this means? WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT! ;) I chose that picture of Jack Davey because I think she represents what I'm saying here. She fronts J*DaVeY (the new Groove Theory), an R&B/Funk duo made of awesome and win. I'm willing to bet if she chose not to don mohawks and headdresses, she would become more appealing to most people. If she would just be that bland, safe, cutesy image of a black chick that the music industry keeps forcing down our throats... But she's not and she shouldn't have to be. Not only that, how she chooses to express herself shouldn't be seen as weird and/or shocking when the same reaction wouldn't be given to a white chick (if we're being honest).

...Now that you know what I'm trying to say here... Let me tell you what happened. I went out with some friends tonight and out of nowhere (it seemed), one of them says, "I know my children will be light because my wife will be white or Asian because I don't do blackies. No offense to you. [meaning me]" He, of course, is Wesley Snipes black. My other friends at the table scurried off, as they assumed I was about ready to lay a verbal assault on his ignant ass... But I didn't, not really anyway. I tried to engage in a civil conversation with him; I tried not to involve too many emotions. He told me it wasn't that he didn't like black girls, it's just that this is what he gravitates to because of where he's from. YOU KNOW THIS WAS A COPOUT TO THE SUBURBAN GANGSTER HERSELF, but I let it slide and let him continue. He told me that black girls, or at least the ones he knows, aren't into the things he likes - Anime, photography, rock music. They are all into that gangster rap and he can't deal with that. (For my DMV people, he's from PG County/MoCo... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!) He told me that he can't be faulted for his preference. The only other female there (a Korean/white blend) tried to explain his point of views from a sociologist's standpoint. They all started talking r e a l s l o w to me like I didn't understand them when I was the only completely sober person at the table (shocker, I know).

I won't even go into the self-hatred issues I'm convinced this boy has (and nope, not because of his "preference"). I asked him and the other black guy at the table, "Are your mothers black? Is she an angry hoodrat?" They replied, "No." "So how is it that you can say to me that you don't know not ONE black female who doesn't fit this stereotype when you know HER?" Then I went on to say, "And... YOU KNOW ME! Are you now saying I fit this stereotype too?" I am tired of people not acknowledging the variety pack that is the black female. Like I told these dudes, if I based my opinion of all black men solely on my experiences with black men... I wouldn't ever talk to a black man ever again. EVER. ...And the, "I don't know many black girls" argument - OBNOXIOUS. Meet some damnit!

This is a call to action to all out there who think we are all one way, all those who view us negatively... Try a black girl today! Go befriend one! Talk to one at work/school/the grocery store/etc.! You would be surprised (apparently) at how friendly we can be. Don't just assume we don't share your interests! Half the Anime club at my school was black girls! We like rock music too! Damn, some of us grew up going to country clubs too! I appreciate green tea and noodles! You wouldn't believe how many black women HATE mainstream rap music! And YES, I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC DAMNIT! Stop trying to pigeonhole us and give us a chance before you assume we're angry, uneducated, and bitter!

I Am Not A Slut (Fixed For You L.F.B)

This year, the MTV VMAs were over-hyped as usual and I'm embarrassed as hell to even admit that I watched portions of that abomination but, I did. The show wasn't much of a show at all, I think I forgot it was on but there was a moment when Jordin Sparks decided to defend, of all things, promise (purity) rings. The ridiculous host of the show, Russel Brand had been going hard on Fake Hanson The Jonas Brothers for their decision to remain virgins until married and wear promise/purity rings. Now look, I don't really care one way or the other... Do I think it's noble or special or sweet or the right thing to do? Nope. I really don't. I actually think it's kind of stupid. But I operate on to each his own. I can see where sweet-as-pie Jordin got her panties in a twist over Brand's remarks (he was definitely crude the entire night) and I don't fault her for defending her right (and the Jonas Brothers' rights) to not give up the goodies but I do have a problem with her statement.

I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It's not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut.

That is all fine and dandy Miss Sparks (you seem like the type to prefer Miss instead of Ms.) but your statement, though you may not have meant it this way, implies that people who do not remain chaste until marriage are sluts. I am not a slut. Most people I know are not virgins and most of them are not sluts. I don't want to really take aim and issue with Miss Sparks (she's young as hale anyway) but with the attitude that many who choose abstinence have towards the LARGE number of us who don't. So I'm saying this for all the unmarried/never been married/who even knows if I want to ever get married/can't legally get married because the government won't allow it non-virgins - BEING SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND PROMISCUITY ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, THANKS.

Sarah Palin Scares Me

Bree Van de Kamp Hodge, Peg Boggs, Rita Repulsa, and Sarah Palin

I know everyone (especially out there in the danishosphere) is throwing in their two cents on potential vice president, Sarah Palin. I'm going to stay away from all the wtfery of John McCain's craptacular VP pick and explain why lil ol Sarah Palin scares me.

Part 1: Too many similarities to Bree Van de Kamp Hodge. Bree is a character (played by the always believably crazy Marcia Cross) on the popular television series Desperate Housewives. In light of the grandson-son-gate, the comparisons began. Sarah Palin allegedly faked a pregnancy to cover up for her teen daughter, Bree Van de Kamp Hodge actually did it. Bree is also a staunch Republican, a long-term member of the National Rifle Association, anti-abortion, by-the-good-book religious when it counts and when it's convenient, really really white... All of that. If you've never seen Desperate Housewives, believe me when I say Bree is one crazy bitch. Anyone putting me in the mind of her IMMEDIATELY goes on the "One Crazy Bitch" watch list.

Part 2: Have you ever seen Edward Scissorhands? Do you remember the mom? Tell me Sarah Palin does not remind you of her! For the 2 people that read this that have not seen Edward Scissorhands, or simply cannot remember, the mom in Edward Scissorhands was a bored, obnoxious, Avon selling housewife named Peg Boggs. Now... It's not so much about her character traits as it is the way she looks. The ultra matronly outfits, hair, and the same ugly glasses. Plus, it doesn't help that I could totally see Palin trying to force some Avon or Mary Kay on somebody. You may ask, why is this scary? Because you know if she had not gotten involved in politics she'd probably be one of those Susie Homemaker hockey moms and I always think perky suburban housewives are about one burnt cookie from unloading an assault rifle on the whole neighborhood. And if they're a member of the NRA (Palin), they probably have access to some, IDK, rifles. Beware suburbanites, beware.

Part 3: I'm almost positive all power hungry women have a plan to take over the world. Let's face it, I think most power hungry people have a plan to take over the world but women haven't had a fair shake so you know we let our imagination run wild when plotting. Because so few women are in extremely high-powered positions, dreaming of what you would do if you had the power seems more like some far fetched fantasy. Some of us just want to create harmony and come up with a good health care plan... Others have the Rita Repulsa gleam in their eyes. Rita Repulsa was my public enemy number one in the early nineties. That trick was always trying to off the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Everytime Rita would explain her eeeevvuuulll plan she would get this disturbing look in her eye, a gleam if you will. I see that look on Sarah Palin. It's this seemingly innocent squint-smile thing but look again, behind that pretense is the second coming of the Empress of Evil.

When you sum it all up, Sarah Palin is a lying, conniving, rifle toting, bible thumping, possibly bipolar, seemingly friendly and harmless, eeeevvuuulll trickster. She's got everyone fooled with her inexperience. If Jon McCain beats Obama, I will be convinced it was part of her plan that she has concocted and will fully expect for Jon McCain to be incapacitated by February 2009. Watch out America, I gave you fair warning.

Misandry

"As for the issue of whether or not to continue to reproduce males, it doesn't follow that because the male, like disease, has always existed among us that he should continue to exist. When genetic control is possible -- and soon it will be -- it goes without saying that we should produce only whole, complete beings, not physical defects of deficiencies, including emotional deficiencies, such as maleness. Just as the deliberate production of blind people would be highly immoral, so would be the deliberate production of emotional cripples."
—Valeris Solanas, SCUM Manifesto

The Single Life Blues

I've been thinking and drinking heavily for the past week or two, in part, because I've been living the single life blues. Now, I've been fake single (you know, when you're broken up but you're not REALLY broken up) for awhile now but now it's really over. I've been going through all the motions - listening to all kinds of songs to speak my emotions for me until I was ready. I realized just the other day, I haven't known what it's like to be completely single for about 4 years now. When I look back I was always at least talking to some dude or involved in a dramaship. It's strange. I forget that when I meet dudes now it can go beyond flirtations/crushes/revenge hook-ups if I want it to. The worst part about my single life blues is... I want a boyfriend more than I have ever wanted one in my entire life. As a matter of fact, it usually goes that I don't even really want a boyfriend but somehow I ended up in the relationship. (LoL, terrible, I know.)

Unfortunately, I have no clue how to go about this. Do I just do me and wait and hopefully someone will come around? Should I be proactive and look into every given opportunity? I'm already not a shallow girl, personality will always trump looks for me. I don't even really like to date conventionally cute guys because every other girl has already told them how cute they are and I don't have time to deal with inflated egos... Mine is big enough. I don't even trust myself to pick a good guy. The thought process is, "I like him, there MUST BE something wrong with him." My pessimistic nature is telling me that because I actually want a boyfriend for once, I'm going to be lonely and single for a long long time. *Sniffles* I even sent out this mass text message to my friends that said something like, I'm contemplating a non-sexual, romantic relationship with a woman while continuing to use men for sex... How do you feel about it? I was joking (mostly) but I do sometimes feel like a decent dude in such short supply I might as well find a good BFF Jill to do all the non-sexual couples things with and get my rocks off elsewhere. I know I'll miss the emotional connection but it's better than what I have currently (nothing).

People are telling me that I need to hold off anyway - see if this thing with him and I is really over. I can't speak for him but for me, the shit is over. It's a wrap. I got my relationship habits from both of my parents - My father is the type who is in love with love (I suffer from that), my mother is loyal and loves hard but when she's done there is no going back (my other affliction). So given these two traits, my recovery time after I'm actually done is short! It might take me a few tries to be done with you but when I am, the shit is like a distant memory... And that's exactly what he's becoming. I keep forgetting that some of these memories are from a week ago. (LoL!) It's like my new beezy Solange says in her song "Would've Been the One" - I was the one. Yes, I was the one. Keyword is WAS! Yes, I WAS the one!" I'm over that shit and now I'm ready. In the coming weeks I might have some seemingly sad stuff posted about the previous situation but it's not because I'm not over it, it's either because I wrote it before or I'm just reflecting.

To sum all of my rambling up - to bring this to a point, I don't know how to date. This may be in part to age (21) but I don't know how to do it. I don't know where people find dates. I am romantically challenged. I am also a little bit shy (a little known fact and shocking to many that know me). If someone really sparks my interest, I get all uncomfortable and I don't know how to act. I usually hang out with them in a group setting and let the alcohol do the talking for me. I want to take a more mature approach. I'm finally ready to do completely right by someone and I am ready to be done right by but for the first time in my life, I seem to have no potentials. I mean, there's a little crush but it's nothing for real because I think he's still in high school mode and I really don't have time for that, especially from someone older than me. So, it looks like I'm resigned to this single life blues until further notice. BLAH!