Tuesday, September 09, 2008

BLACK GIRLS ARE AWESOME (For Those of You Who Don't Know So!)

I'm a pretty open person. Some say I'm weird but I prefer atypical, better yet - eccentric. From a very early age, my mom showed me that I don't have to live up to anybody else's expectations of what I should be. Growing up with such a non-judgemental mother allowed me to favor the Backstreet Boys to Blackstreet, No Doubt to Destiny's Child, basketball to ballet, dresses with shorts to pants, black to pink, to Boys Meets World to Hangin' With Mr. Cooper, etc. I have never felt the need to tie my identity to things deemed black, feminine, southern, or anything else that I'm supposed to be. I like what I like and I make no apologies, explanations, or excuses for my often random likes and dislikes.

It has come to my attention on numerous occasions that black girls and women are all expected to (basically) be one way. It seems a good chunk of you missed the memo that we are not all into long weaves, neck-rolling, hoop earrings, blunts, misplaced anger, etc. To be honest, I don't have much in common with most of the black girls I know and they don't have much in common with each other. Do you know what this means? WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT! ;) I chose that picture of Jack Davey because I think she represents what I'm saying here. She fronts J*DaVeY (the new Groove Theory), an R&B/Funk duo made of awesome and win. I'm willing to bet if she chose not to don mohawks and headdresses, she would become more appealing to most people. If she would just be that bland, safe, cutesy image of a black chick that the music industry keeps forcing down our throats... But she's not and she shouldn't have to be. Not only that, how she chooses to express herself shouldn't be seen as weird and/or shocking when the same reaction wouldn't be given to a white chick (if we're being honest).

...Now that you know what I'm trying to say here... Let me tell you what happened. I went out with some friends tonight and out of nowhere (it seemed), one of them says, "I know my children will be light because my wife will be white or Asian because I don't do blackies. No offense to you. [meaning me]" He, of course, is Wesley Snipes black. My other friends at the table scurried off, as they assumed I was about ready to lay a verbal assault on his ignant ass... But I didn't, not really anyway. I tried to engage in a civil conversation with him; I tried not to involve too many emotions. He told me it wasn't that he didn't like black girls, it's just that this is what he gravitates to because of where he's from. YOU KNOW THIS WAS A COPOUT TO THE SUBURBAN GANGSTER HERSELF, but I let it slide and let him continue. He told me that black girls, or at least the ones he knows, aren't into the things he likes - Anime, photography, rock music. They are all into that gangster rap and he can't deal with that. (For my DMV people, he's from PG County/MoCo... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!) He told me that he can't be faulted for his preference. The only other female there (a Korean/white blend) tried to explain his point of views from a sociologist's standpoint. They all started talking r e a l s l o w to me like I didn't understand them when I was the only completely sober person at the table (shocker, I know).

I won't even go into the self-hatred issues I'm convinced this boy has (and nope, not because of his "preference"). I asked him and the other black guy at the table, "Are your mothers black? Is she an angry hoodrat?" They replied, "No." "So how is it that you can say to me that you don't know not ONE black female who doesn't fit this stereotype when you know HER?" Then I went on to say, "And... YOU KNOW ME! Are you now saying I fit this stereotype too?" I am tired of people not acknowledging the variety pack that is the black female. Like I told these dudes, if I based my opinion of all black men solely on my experiences with black men... I wouldn't ever talk to a black man ever again. EVER. ...And the, "I don't know many black girls" argument - OBNOXIOUS. Meet some damnit!

This is a call to action to all out there who think we are all one way, all those who view us negatively... Try a black girl today! Go befriend one! Talk to one at work/school/the grocery store/etc.! You would be surprised (apparently) at how friendly we can be. Don't just assume we don't share your interests! Half the Anime club at my school was black girls! We like rock music too! Damn, some of us grew up going to country clubs too! I appreciate green tea and noodles! You wouldn't believe how many black women HATE mainstream rap music! And YES, I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC DAMNIT! Stop trying to pigeonhole us and give us a chance before you assume we're angry, uneducated, and bitter!


8 comments:

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] said...

You ain't never lied! When does a preference turn into a self-hate issue? And for him to be from PG/MO County? Spare me...Mr. I Can't Find A Black Chick. The MD/DC area is one of the most diverse areas when it comes to the types of black women...

You can go from the goth black chick to the hood rat chick in 0-60 mph! I've seen ALL kinds. But yet instill, people, those who do have self-hate issues usually, want to justify their 'preferences' by puting black women all in the same box, for their convenience.

Fresh said...

I feel ya! Men can be so dumb (oops)...I mean...slow. They always have an excuse of why they date outside their race. Its nothing wrong with that but stop making lame excuses to justify it. Black women are strong, smart, loving, enduring, and just plain the sh**. Of course there are a few exceptions but that’s with everything in life. And lastly, maybe if men stop trying to find wifey in the club and stop by the bookstore or something, they might find a decent black woman.

Melody said...

you should put up some ads or something to get paid since this seems to be your job lol.

amirah: the uncool said...

haha agree with fresh on the "finding wifey in the club" joint. dudes look in all the wrong places. i believe [sometimes] that if you go somewhere that isn't known for giving a great impression of people [aka parties, clubs, etc], then you get what you get. come on now...and then it's also the way you approach them. i mean, some black girls have attitudes and issues, but that's with all girls, matter of fact ALL PEOPLE. so to base a decision for not dating black girls off of not finding the right one, then you must not be looking in the right place or you have an issue.

period.
loved this post.
amirah.

the life and times of peachesC said...

i know this is somewhat off topic but its also sad when you have self-hate/lack of acceptance even within your own family. that if you like what is considered to be "white music" or whatever than its like you end up being shunned by the rest of the family just because you don't care to be like everyone else. everyone needs some sort of a support system starting off @ an early age, instead of forcing kids to only like one certain thing , and that if they don't then they wont be accepeted or the will be told that they are just trying to "act white"


by the way, could someone explain what "being white" really means? just because i would rather listen to rock than hip hop or watch Sex and the city rather that girlfriends, would that just make me "white"?

ps:love the blog, i already have you added to the blogroll.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

yes indeed maam

Katasha829 said...

LOLS...

I don't particularly like country music, but I completely understood everything that you said...

People are surprised when I say my favorite band is Muse or that I didn't grow up watching the Cosby show, but instead Boy Meets World...

Lisa Marie Turtle (2008 Model) said...

@peachesC, thanks for the love.

@katasha829, I flove Muse!