Welcome Back ,Turtle.

Hello loves, Lisa Turtle has been on an accidental hiatus. My life has been uber crazy lately. I finally stopped dying. I've been partying. I think my dramaship is finally (almost) over. And I went all Britney Spears crazy and cut my own hair (but I'm not bald.) It was damaged so I cut the relaxer out. It was a freeing feeling. I've been getting back to my usual self lately so prepare for more optimistic and happier danishes from me in the future.

Let's do a before/after:

Before (From "Why I'll Never Put Another Relaxer In My Hair")

After (From Like 4 minutes ago):


I've been in such a good mood and tonight is my favorite night. It's club night a.k.a. ho night a.k.a. FISHNETS NIGHT!!!!

Fishnets!!! :)

In honor of the very high possibility of me finding my way back to my previous lifestyle of debauchery -- I must discuss my favorite partying/club/girl's night out/ho night/fuck you _____ night accessory (besides booze)... FISHNETS. I love me some fishnets, OH MY GOD! I especially love these HAWT pink ones that I destroyed but they were similar to the ones in that picture. I'm telling you, nothing adds instant slut factor to an outfit like fishnets. Some may say, why would you want to look like a slut when out on the town? Simple answer: I COMMIT TO WHAT I DO. When I go out, I'm buck wild and I make no apologies for it. If I'm going to skank it up for the club or wherever I might as well go all the way and the fishnets, they take it there. Some fishnets, pumps (usually black), and a short skirt/long shirt/shorts... BANGIN. I, mean, don't get me wrong -- there is a right and wrong place for the fishnets. I hardly ever wear them in DC because most of the clubs I go to there take themselves wayyyyyy to seriously (which I why I prefer to club in the nastiness of B-More Careful) For all my ladies out there, if you have not yet tried to wonderfullness of fishnets, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? They come in like every color you could want and some even have the cool back seam. Don't be shy girl, give them fishnets a try! Don't worry about the glares of hatin' bitches and you know the men love them. If you're worried about attracting the wrong kind of men, I say don't wear them anywhere you're trying to find a boyfriend. LoL. As for the menz... Please, leave the fishnets to us ladies. Heed my warning.

Damn shame...

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Now playing: Lil' Wayne - Rider
via FoxyTunes

"Why are you the way you are?"

That's the subtitle of my friend Cara's danish. It made me start thinking about myself... About why I am the way I am. I think I will try to make a list now. Try to follow, I tend to ramble.

• "Jasmine is such a snob" -Selected Family Members
  
• "She think she better than everybody because she live in Baltimore." -Selected Family Members (And I don't fucking live in Baltimore)
• "This my cousin from Baltimore." -Cousins
• "Girl, you think you from Baltimore and you not. YOU FROM HAMMOND, LA." -Selected Family Members
  
• I was actually born in Hammond, LA. Not THAT GREAT of a place for black people.
• "Your chink eyes are ugly." -Selected Family Members
• My mom counted less than 20 black people in my 7th grade yearbook (me included) for all the grades (6,7,8).
• I stole my brother's Tupac and Nas CDs when I needed a break from Mariah Carey.
• The whole first 8 years of my life I was only technically allowed to listen to christian/gospel music and country music (with the exception of Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, and Whitney Houston). I cheated in secret, of course.
• Child-molestation.
• Alcoholism... Throughout both sides of my family.
• Being abused daily.
• Getting screamed at for bringing home a "B."
• Being the only black kid in at least one of my classes every year since 4th grade.
• Not realizing there were so many black kids in my graduating class until graduation... They just weren't in my classes.
• Not knowing what "nigger" meant until 6th grade.
• Hating my father until I was 18 for no real reason.
• My favorite book is The Giving Tree because it mirrors many things in the relationship between my mother and my brother.
• Accepting being called "oreo." (Black on the outside, white on the outside).
• Being called "white girl" as early as 4.
• Being forced into attending an all black school because my family thought I needed to learn how to be around black people.
• Being given a natural apprehension to trust any male by the time I was 3.
• Suicide attempts.
• Having my hair straight for the first time in 7th grade and having Kyle Bagbey pull on it because he didn't believe it wasn't a weave.
• Growing up in Crofton, Maryland.
• Giving into Go-Go music at 18.
• Falling in love with poetry at 4.
• Reading Shakepeare's classics in elementary school.
• Wishbone. :)
• Being a scorpio.
• My brother dying before I was born and the effect it had on my mother.
• My other brother dying in 8th grade and me not being able to remember his face.
• Having every hamster I've ever had die in less than a year (though I took good care of them) only to find out after the last one that hamsters just don't have long life spans. :(
• Being complimented on being so "articulate."
• Having good SAT scores that were not good enough for my mother.
• Sexual assault in adulthood.
• Witnessing women I love and respect being beat by men.
• Bad allergies.
• Thyroid conditions.
• Depression.
• Anxiety.
• Arundel Senior High School.
• Four Seasons Elementary.
• Woodmore Elementary.
• Crofton Middle.
• Arundel Middle.
• Clark Atlanta University.
• Woodland Park Elementary School.
• The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill.
• Eating chili and cheese out of a bowl.
• Bonne Belle chapstick.
• MTV rotting my brain.
• Disney channel.
• Nickelodeon.
• The Guiding Light.
• Never feeling quite loved enough.
• The handful of people in this world I think understand me.
• Leke.
• Derek.
• Jeff.
• Broken-hearts.
• Michelle.
• Jinnelle.
• Cara.
• Melody.
• My cousin Kelle.
• Jonathan William (both of them.)
• Hurricane Katrina.
• The internet.
• My grandmother Augustine.
• The rest of my family.
• Music!
• Books!

I could probably go on forever, (and I almost did) but I won't.


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Now playing: N*E*R*D - Maybe
via FoxyTunes