Things I Should Probably Keep To Myself [3/3191987]

Maybe I've been missing Louisiana... Or Eli... Or something... But I've been drunk, A LOT lately... More than usual. I've been partying nearly everyday and the comedowns have all resulted in serious soul searching and I've come to realize a lot of things about myself and my life. Photographic proof is the source for some of these realizations.

1. I tend to kiss people when I'm plastered.

Now this isn't usually a problem being that it's usually on the cheek or something but there have been quite a few times, especially recently, that I've straight made out with people that I have no romantic feelings for when I'm drunk. I don't know what this is about, I don't even like making out when I'm SOBER. One of these times led me to declaring war on my beloved Grey Goose vodka and saying I'd never get drunk again... I went out later that night and got plastered. I am lucky that more people do not have pictures of me kissing random folk... At least these two girls are my good friends. ;) BTW... I didn't even remember taking this pic but was all "lol" when I got tagged to it on Facebook.

2. My tolerance is way too high for my own good.

Perhaps I should rethink the word tolerance in terms of drinking because I figure since I know what and how much will make me puke... I can drink until I am incoherent as long as I don't puke. See that picture -- That's me on the 4th of July (hell no I didn't wear red, white, and blue) and that liquid you see in that cup is not water... THAT IS HOW MUCH GREY GOOSE I POURED INTO MY CUP before adding cranberry juice. There's only about 2 cubs of ice in it and that was my second cup... See how proud I am that I'm about to crush that much goose? I also had several jello shots and something called a juicy fruit... And it actually tasted like the gum, or at least it did when I was hammered. I don't know. Now this is what I remember drinking or what the pictures remembered me drinking. I just never stop until my body gives me the warning that I might throw up... That's the only thing that will get me to stop drinking (besides running out of liquor). If my "tolerance" were lower I wouldn't get so drunk and I could probably prevent myself from making out with people.

3. I club too much.

(I want to start off by saying that is not the same shirt from the 4th of July... This picture is actually from the 5th and it's a Shiress, not a shirt.) When I turned 18, I loved the club and then I hated clubbing for like 2 years+ and I don't know what happened but now I'm a club fiend. Actually, I think what happened is I started hanging out with the girl in the picture (Stephy b.k.a. Kelly Kapowski) too damn much. The thing is, when I think about it... I don't even know why I like to club so much. I get hating bitches accidentally spilling drinks on me 5x in one night, scary Africans/Jamaicans who don't understand, "Nah, I'm good" trying to rape dance with me, I always seem lame people I know from high school I've been trying to avoid... I could go on with my run-on. For some reason though, I continue to club on a regular basis. I will probably be out this Thursday because... That's what I do. The worst part is my usual establishment, Iguana Cantina (as seen on the on the photostamp), isn't particularly classy or full of fine ass men... I just like the open bar and cheap cover... Ohh, and my favorite bartender. See, I have a favorite bartender. This is a problem.

I guess the true realization is that I'm a social alcoholic. Ohh well. Hope you all had a good weekend.

Things I Should Probably Keep To Myself [2/3191987]

Today isn't really things but more of a thing I should probably keep to myself. Sometimes I like to think of ethnicity as flavors... I've had BLACK, Caucasian, Cuban, Puerto Rican, Nigerian, and all sorts of blended flavors (black/Puerto-Rican BLACK/Caucasian, Caucasian/Mexican, etc.). I seem to basically attract these types, especially the BLACK/Hispanic blends. I've (mostly) loved what I've had so far but what I want is...

Daniel Henney

I want me a fine ass Asian man. I hear a lot of young Asian men saying that the stereotype is not true and they do love them some black women... Can one of them holla at me? I'm 1/4 Japanese. Can you imagine the pretty little babies we could make?

I'm not unrealistic, I know everybody can't be Russel Wong, Harold & Kumar, or Chen Chang but DAAAAAMN can I at least get this dude from youtube?

I'm saying, the fineness of Asian men is often overlooked (even by Asian women) and I want it to be clear I'm here for them. I love you pretty Asian men. I'm not overlooking you so please don't overlook me. Let's have little ethnically confused babies with curly hair. (Dare to dream...)


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Now playing: Ashlee Simpson - Bittersweet World
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Things I Should Probably Keep To Myself [1/3191987]

((I'd like to say that my lack of updating is at least in part due to the BITCHASSNESS my immune system is showing. I am still combating this possibly fatal... cold.))

Though I like to think of myself as unprecedented (thanks Cara), I'm sure there are people out there at least somewhat like me. I don't know any of these people but if you're out there and you come across this danish... TELL ME. I want to know who else is all jacked up in the brain. Anyway, in continuing with my theme of posting things that do no better mankind or make too much sense or make me seem intelligent, I present Things I Should Probably Keep To Myself. (I'll even put pictures because I feel everything is better with pictures.)

1. I hate being called African-American.I realize that I'm probably not supposed to say this/think this and that I may piss off a whole rack of black people while saying this BUT... I've been pissing black people off my entire life so why not now? (Side Note: The Field Negro had a discussion over whether to capitalize the b when speaking on black people and I said I didn't know if I did or not, apparently I don't.) Something about being called "African-American" has always rubbed me the wrong way... I'm going to guess this is because I didn't know very many black people growing up and the black people I do know (familial and otherwise) do not use this terminology. It could also have something to do with that James Brown song and how I can remember being no more than 3 or 4, screaming, "I'M BLACK AND I'M PROUD!" every time a certain commercial played a piece of the song. With that being said, I've pretty much only been called African-American by white people and I don't like it... I actually think it's racist as hell. If I were from, say, Nigeria or my parents were or hell... even my grandparents were I could maybe stomach it but actually my parents are from California (dad) and Louisiana (mom) and I am from Louisiana/Maryland. My grandparents are from California (paternal grandfather), Japan (paternal grandmother), Texas (maternal grandfather), and Louisiana (maternal grandmother). I could keep going back and back and back but I'm only going to find people from the United States, Japan, and some people from France. To me, this means I am not African. I know very little of African culture and neither do any of my relatives. I know that at least part of my ancestry stems from somewhere in Africa (or so it is to be assumed) but with slavery, how am I to know how much? Why can't I be just an American because, after all, isn't that what I am? Why is it necessary to attach the African to my American title? Because I'm black? Because my skin is non-white? I rarely hear the terms European-American or more specifically French-American, English-American, Italian-American, German-American, etc. I can be honest and say that I don't know how this African-American thing came into play as the PC word of choice to categorize us Negroes but I will say (just as I told my white 9th grade government teacher) that every time I see a white person struggling to remember to say "African-American" instead of "black" it's like they're trying to remember not to call me a "nigger" either... Or at least that's how it feels.

2. I want a "little person."

There's probably no right way to say this, but I want a "little person" a.k.a. a "dwarf" or a "midget" (though "midget" is not generally preferred despite the reclamation efforts of "Midget Mac"). I can't help it, I think little people are cute as hell. (I KNOW, I KNOW!) I don't know what's wrong with me, even as a small child I was mystified by little people. My mom would scold, "Don't stare!" And I'd whisper, "I'm sorry mommy but they're so cute! I want one." My mother would then roll her eyes and say, "Jasmine! They're people, not pets!" Believe me people, I know little people are not pets! I swear this! But every time I see one the first thought that pops into my head is, "I want one!" This is followed by internally yelling at myself, "THAT IS NOT RIGHT! YOU ARE FUCKED UP! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF EVERY TIME SOMEONE SAW A BLACK PERSON THEY SAID TO THEMSELVES, 'I WANT ONE!'?" I don't usually answer myself but I guess I wouldn't like that very much but I can't help my natural love of the cuteness of little people. Similarly, when I see babies I think they're the cutest thing in the whole world and think, "Ooo! I want one!" but I won't be having a baby either. I should probably talk to my therapist about this.

I think I'll let that be it for this post because it's already long enough.


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Now playing: Alicia Keys - Lesson Learned (Feat. John Mayer)
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