Catch 22

22 years ago today they cut my mommy open and pulled me out. Yes, today is my BIRTHDAY. The days leading up to my birthday were full of mixed emotions, particularly the final week. You see, my good friend Elisha (the one who was murdered) would have had his 21st birthday on Nov. 12, 2008 - exactly one week prior to my 22nd birthday. I look at this picture from his birthday this year and think to myself how wrong this is. Was today a good day? Yes. Better than I could have ever anticipated (given my emotions leading to my birthday)? Yes. I just missed him so much today. I didn't get much time with him but if you would have known him you would know that forgetting him is impossible. Anyway, I am very thankful for the special people in my life who made this one of my best birthdays ever. I don't know if it's because my expectations were so low but it's really been super and it's not even over yet. I mean, JAHMAL TONGE told me Happy Birthday! ;) So without further adieu - Pointless personal pictures to further prove I am a weirdo. Thanks for reading about my dull life and random thoughts.

-la jasmine exquise-

Birthday Kick-off double fisting: signature pose. Hope you like the tiara.

Actual birthday (11/19/08): Bored, anticipating my fiesta with my mom!

Fiesta! Fiesta!

P.S.: I'M SICK AGAIN GUYS!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! /sarcasm

First Time Voter! (Sort of...)

OMGosh GUYS, GUESS WHAT?!!!

in my very first presidential election! (I was 17 days too young last time!)

Obviously, you guys know who I voted for. It goes without saying. I also voted yes for Maryland to allow for early voting and no on slots! Yay me! I got to the polls around 6:40am and was out near 7:30 eventhough the lines were crucially long. Then my mom took me to get a presidential breakfast.

Yep, you can't get more patriotic than McDonald's!!! LoL! (Side note: My hash browns were extra greasy.) (Other side note: I always get a sausage biscuit with cheese and put strawberry jelly on it... My mom thinks that is the grossest/weirdest shit ever. What do you think???) Anyway guys, I hope all of you that are registered to vote get out there and vote if you haven't already. I am so sick right now and I still got my butt out there. I don't want to hear the my vote doesn't matter shtick either! I live in MD, we're going for 08AMA, I know my one vote didn't put it over the edge but there are other issues to vote on and then there's the whole people died for your right thing. Anywho... Enjoy this moving, powerful, and completely appropriate video from Miri Ben-Ari. (Last side note: I was very upset to learn about the passing of President 08ama's grandmother just hours before he makes history.)

"Symphony of Brotherhood" - Miri Ben-Ari feat. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Happy Voting!

It's That Magical Time of Year!

I've been extra nostalgic lately and I think it's mostly due to my impending birthday. I'm not excited at all and that kind of makes me sad - I usually love my birthday but this year I just kinda don't care. I know part of it is what my birthday is near... Exactly one week after the birthday of my friend who was murdered. I just feel so old and unaccomplished (lol). I know that I'm not old for real for real but it really feels like time has slipped away from me. This past weekend was my high school's homecoming and a couple people older than me were going to the game and I was just like -- I seriously graduated over 3 years ago, I'm not trying to be around a bunch of 14-year-olds. But seriously, where has the time gone? I look at this picture of my best friend Jinnelle and I on our graduation day (June 10, 2005) and I think about how in a few years my little cousins Helena and Daisy will be graduating... Why do I feel like life is moving too fast?

Earlier today, my mom was on the phone with my Auntie Helen (Daisy and Helena's grandmother) and she told me that my little cousin Helena had made homecoming court and the strangest thing happened -- I started crying. I can't explain it but it was just too much for me at that moment. Helena is the first baby I have ever held. My cousin Mel was the first pregnant person I ever remember being around. Helena is my little baby, my little shadow and now she's a teenager and soon she'll be an adult and I'll be her uncool older cousin that she thinks is desperately holding on to youth!

I mean, it seems like just yesterday that I was a 14-year-old and on the phone with Jinnelle talking about how were pretty much over The Backstreet Boys. Maybe I just miss my family or maybe I'm just extra crazy. Anyone else have an irrational "DAMN I'M GETTING OLD!" moment???

BLACK GIRLS ARE AWESOME (For Those of You Who Don't Know So!)

I'm a pretty open person. Some say I'm weird but I prefer atypical, better yet - eccentric. From a very early age, my mom showed me that I don't have to live up to anybody else's expectations of what I should be. Growing up with such a non-judgemental mother allowed me to favor the Backstreet Boys to Blackstreet, No Doubt to Destiny's Child, basketball to ballet, dresses with shorts to pants, black to pink, to Boys Meets World to Hangin' With Mr. Cooper, etc. I have never felt the need to tie my identity to things deemed black, feminine, southern, or anything else that I'm supposed to be. I like what I like and I make no apologies, explanations, or excuses for my often random likes and dislikes.

It has come to my attention on numerous occasions that black girls and women are all expected to (basically) be one way. It seems a good chunk of you missed the memo that we are not all into long weaves, neck-rolling, hoop earrings, blunts, misplaced anger, etc. To be honest, I don't have much in common with most of the black girls I know and they don't have much in common with each other. Do you know what this means? WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT! ;) I chose that picture of Jack Davey because I think she represents what I'm saying here. She fronts J*DaVeY (the new Groove Theory), an R&B/Funk duo made of awesome and win. I'm willing to bet if she chose not to don mohawks and headdresses, she would become more appealing to most people. If she would just be that bland, safe, cutesy image of a black chick that the music industry keeps forcing down our throats... But she's not and she shouldn't have to be. Not only that, how she chooses to express herself shouldn't be seen as weird and/or shocking when the same reaction wouldn't be given to a white chick (if we're being honest).

...Now that you know what I'm trying to say here... Let me tell you what happened. I went out with some friends tonight and out of nowhere (it seemed), one of them says, "I know my children will be light because my wife will be white or Asian because I don't do blackies. No offense to you. [meaning me]" He, of course, is Wesley Snipes black. My other friends at the table scurried off, as they assumed I was about ready to lay a verbal assault on his ignant ass... But I didn't, not really anyway. I tried to engage in a civil conversation with him; I tried not to involve too many emotions. He told me it wasn't that he didn't like black girls, it's just that this is what he gravitates to because of where he's from. YOU KNOW THIS WAS A COPOUT TO THE SUBURBAN GANGSTER HERSELF, but I let it slide and let him continue. He told me that black girls, or at least the ones he knows, aren't into the things he likes - Anime, photography, rock music. They are all into that gangster rap and he can't deal with that. (For my DMV people, he's from PG County/MoCo... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!) He told me that he can't be faulted for his preference. The only other female there (a Korean/white blend) tried to explain his point of views from a sociologist's standpoint. They all started talking r e a l s l o w to me like I didn't understand them when I was the only completely sober person at the table (shocker, I know).

I won't even go into the self-hatred issues I'm convinced this boy has (and nope, not because of his "preference"). I asked him and the other black guy at the table, "Are your mothers black? Is she an angry hoodrat?" They replied, "No." "So how is it that you can say to me that you don't know not ONE black female who doesn't fit this stereotype when you know HER?" Then I went on to say, "And... YOU KNOW ME! Are you now saying I fit this stereotype too?" I am tired of people not acknowledging the variety pack that is the black female. Like I told these dudes, if I based my opinion of all black men solely on my experiences with black men... I wouldn't ever talk to a black man ever again. EVER. ...And the, "I don't know many black girls" argument - OBNOXIOUS. Meet some damnit!

This is a call to action to all out there who think we are all one way, all those who view us negatively... Try a black girl today! Go befriend one! Talk to one at work/school/the grocery store/etc.! You would be surprised (apparently) at how friendly we can be. Don't just assume we don't share your interests! Half the Anime club at my school was black girls! We like rock music too! Damn, some of us grew up going to country clubs too! I appreciate green tea and noodles! You wouldn't believe how many black women HATE mainstream rap music! And YES, I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC DAMNIT! Stop trying to pigeonhole us and give us a chance before you assume we're angry, uneducated, and bitter!

I Am Not A Slut (Fixed For You L.F.B)

This year, the MTV VMAs were over-hyped as usual and I'm embarrassed as hell to even admit that I watched portions of that abomination but, I did. The show wasn't much of a show at all, I think I forgot it was on but there was a moment when Jordin Sparks decided to defend, of all things, promise (purity) rings. The ridiculous host of the show, Russel Brand had been going hard on Fake Hanson The Jonas Brothers for their decision to remain virgins until married and wear promise/purity rings. Now look, I don't really care one way or the other... Do I think it's noble or special or sweet or the right thing to do? Nope. I really don't. I actually think it's kind of stupid. But I operate on to each his own. I can see where sweet-as-pie Jordin got her panties in a twist over Brand's remarks (he was definitely crude the entire night) and I don't fault her for defending her right (and the Jonas Brothers' rights) to not give up the goodies but I do have a problem with her statement.

I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It's not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut.

That is all fine and dandy Miss Sparks (you seem like the type to prefer Miss instead of Ms.) but your statement, though you may not have meant it this way, implies that people who do not remain chaste until marriage are sluts. I am not a slut. Most people I know are not virgins and most of them are not sluts. I don't want to really take aim and issue with Miss Sparks (she's young as hale anyway) but with the attitude that many who choose abstinence have towards the LARGE number of us who don't. So I'm saying this for all the unmarried/never been married/who even knows if I want to ever get married/can't legally get married because the government won't allow it non-virgins - BEING SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND PROMISCUITY ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, THANKS.

Improper Stannin

y stannin game was not proper earlier this week. I knew the remix video to "Everyone Nose" by N*E*R*D featuring CRS & Pusha T had premiered but I didn't bother to blog about it. What is really going on? Me pass up an opportunity to stan for Lupe and talk about some black menz I want do drop it off in my drawers... Seems nuts. Anyway, here's the video. Watch it. Look for my commentary underneath.

"Everyone Nose (Remix)" N*E*R*D feat. CRS & Pusha T

1. I guess nobody told Kanye that the "any black inside you" line would be corny as all hale.
2. I love you Lupe, but that "high" shit got extra annoying.
3. Pharrell killed it, with his wormy looking ass.
4. Pusha T, killed it.
5. Lupe looked EXTRA scrumptous in it.

Subject: apology....... :0( [Straight from the MySpace Presses!!!]

Hello Hello! The queen of the hiatus is back (temporarily). I have had so many things going on which I will hopefully be able to unfold for all of you in a series of posts. The first is a little update of Mr. Black-White-Girl Fetish. Mr. Black-White-Girl Fetish is from a post called, "I AM NOBODY'S FETISH." If you aren't familiar with the story or you need a refresher, I will give a little back story but the full story is at the links.

Anywho, I met this guy who seemed nice, we were getting along until... He decided to tell me that the reason he liked me is because he like black girls who act white. He touched a nerve with that one. I was livid. Any chance of romance was dead. I continued to talk to him anyway because his fawning over me was both comical and flattering... This was, until, I read his MySpace blogs that declared that he will not date or marry a black girl. Only a thick, caucasian and or "foreign type" female. I confronted him on the issue, hit him with my realness and he didn't like it too much. I posted our conversation on here and linked his MySpace... LoL. Anyway, he has written me back to apologize for disrespecting me and women in general. Well... He probably just wants to fuck me. Here's what he wrote to me; I didn't respond but if someone has a good suggestion to what I should say to him, that'd be amazing.

Just wanted to say sry 4 actin like an asshole last time we talked. I just
wanted to know if I could still be ur friend? I dont know when you will get this but I am going back to school in a few weeks. Mayb I will run into u at a club or movies. *wink wink* ttys..

He's just trying to get in my pants, I am not that stupid. In other news, I want these shoes.

*Sorry for runons, I'm falling asleep as I type.

"I WILL POP THE TRUTH IN YOUR ASS!"

In case you missed, my favorite rap-hop star, Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones, was on The Colbert Report last night. It was a great episode in general, especially the Nas parts. You can watch the full episode (at The Colbert Report's official Comedy Central website) here but I'm going to post a YouTube video of all the Nas parts. I would suggest you guys watch this stuff now before Viacom deletes it from memory forever (you know how they hate seeings Negroes do anything other than... Just watch BET and MTV, I don't need to explain that one). Earlier they had up single clips of the Nas interview and performance and they've already removed them... What's next? You know they'll be all over any YouTube and Dailymotion clips. Anyway, here's the video for however long it lasts.

You can also watch the Nas stuff here for however long they last.

Neglectful By Nature

Because I'm (quite possibly) the world's worst procrastinator (and blogger) and because I'm unfocused, lazy, and generally neglectful of anything but children, I (once again) let my danish go a week+ without an update. Now, in fairness to my laziness, I wrote a blog yesterday about new music but I wrote it in the wrong blog and it didn't copy like I thought it did and anybody as lazy as me was NOT about to write another one. ;) If someone finds a cure for lazocity, please let me know.

ALSO, I am currently on the search for an extremely fey (copyright The Black Snob) picture of R&B singer Lloyd for my currently stalking section. I'd really like it if someone could give me one from the Girls Around the World video with his hair all pressed out. IDK why but his King Tut/Cleopatra thing is working for me.

Ohh, and if you didn't know I do share a blog with one of my best friends (Cara) that had been dead for over a month but now we are back on our plans to be a muthafuckin menace (copyright Tupac). You should check us out, especially if you love randomness.

Jasmine + Cara = Jazzurrah

You won't be sorry. ;)

Dear Black Man

To whom it may concern
If it were to concern you at all
I am informing the collective you
that after years of being beaten down
mentally, physically, emotionally, and sexually
I am finally giving up
gathering what's left of myself and retreating
Black man - It's time to quit you

I won't let you leave me unloved and unmarried
Single mother of three
Fifteen years of you and no wedding ring
I won't let you turn me into a lesbian
Too traumatized to let a man touch me again
I will simply seek other opportunities
Somewhere in this world I'll be appreciated for me
I just don't think it will be a Black man

The Black man did not find me reason enough to
put down the bottle, stop all the whoring
and just raise his damn child
The only thing he gave me was
his nose, his vices, his smile, and his fucked up attitude

Black man I call my brother saw fit to lay hands on me
And no, I don't mean spiritually
Fists turned into punches, hands turned into slaps
Spit in my face as you tickle me until I cry
You told me no man should ever put his hands on me
Yet, you beat me down on a regular basis
Offering love for me as your reasoning
And to think, you're the only man I've ever really trusted

Black man, you sure like to touch me
Wandering eyes led to wandering hands
No permission was granted but that didn't matter
Terrified three-year-old felt something wasn't right
But your threats bought you time in the form of my silence
Eleven-years-old, your hands trespass on thighs
This time, I'm old enough to know to run
Like I wish I could have those times at 19 you got me
drunk enough to take advantage of my inexperience and innocence

The Black man wants my fruit
without putting in any of the labor
and I know I could never depend on you to be there
If by chance I were to go into labor
You won't even commit to showing up at my house on time
And a relationship is out of the question
The only thing you understand is "friends with benefits"
Where you're the only "friend" that benefits
While I hug my sheets, watching you dress
I realize your pretense and this is just another way to use me

Even when you and I become involved
You take it upon yourself to run down a list
of everything YOU THINK is wrong with me
You like my curly hair but you think it's too short
It makes you wonder if I'm "mixed with something"
My in between skin, however, does not please you
I catch you staring at my high school pictures on the wall
You notice my hair was longer and my skin was lighter
Then you tell me that I could have your babies
because I "got good hair"
but we'd probably have to keep them out of the sun
You are shocked I don't find this complimentary

You tell me I need to lose some weight
Even though I haven't gained any since you met me
Two months after we break up you're dating some white girl
AT LEAST 20 lbs. heavier than me with NO ASS
And even if she has an ass it's no bigger than mine
But you treasure hers because she's a white girl
when the same ass was just "aiight" on me
You value my features on a white canvas
But on brown paper they're commonplace

The black man loves to be contradictory
because I'm apparently "too white" for you
You don't care that I'm a product of my environment
All you can see is that I can name more than ten John Mayer songs
My fondness for subject-verb agreement upsets you
The only reason you're talking to me is to see if I can
put you on to one of my cute white girlfriends
or because you think I can fulfill that sick black-white-girl fetish of yours
You smile coyly as you tell me I'm the best of both worlds
A black girl on the outside, white girl on the inside
This is how you repay me for not being a Viacom stereotype

The black man accuses me of having too much self-esteem
You say I think too highly of myself
When the reality is after having you crush me for twenty-one years
I've realized only I can guarantee myself love
Reinforced when the man I am taught to call King
Gladly spits on the image of the woman that bore him
You will never share your strength with me
Why fault me for having my own?

Black man will say I am generalizing him...
And I am... And I don't care
I refuse to waste my life and my time
on men who don't really want me, who see me as the fallback
You want to use me up, have me play backdoor ho
until you find whatever it is that you're looking for

BLACK WOMEN need to wake up to what stares us in the face
We remain the most unmarried demographic because
Black men gave up on us first
Black men decided we were no longer desirable
and we continue to chase after your asses
When we could really just look elsewhere

After all these years black man
I never thought I'd being saying this to you
but I see why society turns its nose up at you
Don't be upset with me black man, you drove me here
but I will not let you ruin me
Instead, I will turn my back on you
just like you did to me, twenty-one years ago

Thanks For Reminding Me!

Adding to the list of reasons I am an outcast in the black community; I would like to take this time to acknowledge my lack of religion. I am not a good Christian; I wouldn't even call myself a Christian. I do not practice any form of religion at all. I oscillate between what they call "mild or weak agnosticism" and "agnostic theism." Basically, I don't rule out the possibility of a God (I mostly believe there is one) but I don't see the evidence behind it and such. More importantly, I choose not to commit myself to any one religion.

None of this matters to most Christian black folk that I encounter because as soon as I say the words, "I am not religious," I might as well be an atheist. The holier-than-thou attitude infuriates me. I do not disrespect their views or their religious beliefs so why the disrespect of mine? When they're going on and on and on about what God has done for them and how I need to let God into my life, I don't tell them that they sound like brain-washed fools even if that is how they sound to me. No, I don't think all religious people are brain-washed fools but I don't believe that everything horrible that has ever happened to me in my life happened wouldn't have happened or would have somehow not been as horrific if I were a Christian.

Around the age of 9 or 10, I completely denounced all religion and refused to ever go back to church again while eating cheese fries in a Wendy's. When I tell this to people they say, "My mom would have never let me do that!" "My mom would have whooped my ass!" What these people don't understand is the "I don't want to go to church anymore" battle started at about 3. I'm saying this to say she fought for at least 6 years but she finally gave up when she realized I was dead serious. I didn't want to go sit in some building and stare in the faces of known hypocrites dancing in aisles, shouting, and then going back home to beat their wives, drink themselves to death, molest children, etc. I don't say this to say this is how all churches are but this is what I was growing up around and this was my perspective so I got a very bad view of church at a young age.

Fast forward and I'm all grown up and some of my friends think they can sway me; they continually invite me to church with them. They all tell me the same thing, "My church isn't like that." By that they mean any complaint I may have about any previous church. My experiences with all these churches vary; I went to one on and off for a little while in attempt to become more religious thinking it would make me happier but it didn't, it just made me feel fake. There were several that I walked out on because I guess I came on the day that they decided to spew hate against homosexuals and I really couldn't stand for that. At this point in my life, I feel like I've given the religious life a chance and I know it's not for me. I don't expect that everyone is going to accept my lifestyle, I'm not stupid. I just find it annoying when I'm attacked because I don't share someone else's beliefs.

Tonight/this morning I called to check in on a friend who just always seems to be frazzled. She told me she was going back home to Kentucky (from Atlanta) and that she had gotten herself right with God. I said good, because I truly meant it and I know that her relationship with her God is very important to her. She asked me how I've been and I told her I'm alright except I haven't been sleeping and then she proceeds to preach to me for at least 45 minutes about how I can't sleep because I'm not right with God. At first I listened and just let her go on because I've learned it's best not argue with religious people about religion but then she pissed me off. I had told her their were reasons why I walk around with so much pain but I don't always share them with people because I don't wish to be that person who complains about their rough life. It's not that I'm ashamed of who I am and what I've been through but I don't wish to dwell on it and bring others down with it. Somehow, she decides that the devil and I are having a pity party and that's why I can't sleep. This is when I told her I don't know this devil of which you speak and I don't pity myself or expect anyone else to pity me and I said, "Bad things happen, all the time. Life is never going to be peaches and roses for everybody and I know even though I'm in pain a lot of the time somebody's got it worse." So then she tells me, "Well, I don't mean to make your pain sound menial but bad stuff happens all the time so... It's your choice." This is when I raised my voice at her and screamed and let her know that just because bad things happen does not mean it's okay and none of what has happened to me (that I can't get over) has been my fault.

I know all religious people are not like this but I run into this all the time. It's crazy to me that they judge me so harshly when they don't know my circumstance. I could have sworn they were supposed to leave the judgement to their God. If you are right and I burn in hell, so be it. It is my soul and my life, right? I wonder how many of them could have lived my life and come out unscathed, still holding on to blind faith. Sometimes it feels like that if I were a child molester but a devout Christian, I'd get a pass from these people but since I'm just a person trying to do the right thing as much as possible who doesn't like to go to church then I'm the worst kind of heathen. I don't get these people but I would like to thank my "friend" and everyone like her for reminding me why I denounced religion in that Wendy's in the first place!

Lisa "Mixtape" Turtle [4/95454521545]

Today I present a very special edition of Lisa "Mixtape" Turtle, an edition that has been about 5-6 days in the making (ya girl been busy!). I have disturbing and exciting news for you lovely people, your girl, Lisa M. Turtle has a CRUSH. Now I know some of you don't know me like that but trust me when I say it is a rarity for me to develop one these nasty little diseases.

(A little backstory)
Kelly Kapowski and I hit the club on Saturday (not our usual night but I was celebrating becoming a valid 21-year old again*) and we were looking extra fly. Saturday is also, unfortunately, the day my dear friend Elisha Adams passed so I was trying my damndest to keep it together and hold it down Scorpio style for him. Upon arrival at the bar Kelly notices a dude with a MOHAWK (yep, mohawk) and stars shaved on the sides of his head (yep, stars too)! We were at the bar ridiculing homeboy, just straight crackin' on him! Then we get out on the dance floor we both notice that he is actually quite cute (for a "white boy") and dancing with an ugly, possibly mildly retarded girl and I decide it is my mission to get him. So I pull a fast one on ol' girl -- I do the switch-a-roo and get at my man. I then realize that this is no white boy... THIS IS A PUERTO RICAN. LoL, he totally thought I was Dominican and that Kelly Kapowski was Puerto Rican (she's Sicilian) but that's okay... Happens to us often. So I am just showing out... Grindin' all up on him, ended up making out with him... SO NOT MY USUAL STYLE!!! I even gave him my number... I give no one my number!

So he gets kicked out for defending his sister but he calls me when I'm on my way home and I end up seeing him later that night. We've been talking everyday since but he unfortunately lives in Philly and right now he's actually visiting Puerto Rico. I don't know why but this crush has not subsided, it has only gotten worse. I've been watching MTV TR3S, thinking about my middle school Latino boyfriends, and staring at Jon Seda**. I don't know what do with myself... I know I said I wanted an Asian man but right now I'm thinking Puerto Ricans are where it's at. For those of you who don't know me like that let me just say that under no circumstances have I shown attraction for Latino men past the age of 14... In fact, I haven't shown a fondness for anything other than black men in the last 3 or 4 years! This new obsession is leaving my friends speechless! ¡No soy dominicana pero quiero un boricua! (I apologize for any bad Spanish I may have used.)

Well, at least I was given inspiration for this mixtape. Please enjoy the lunchin' cover inspired/stolen from the movie I Like It Like That and if you haven't seen it... GET ON THAT. IT'S A CLASSIC.

I present to you, Lisa Turtle: Lisa y Chino<3 (The Crush Mixtape)

Get it here.

01. Love At First Sight - Kyle Minogue
02. Swing My Way - KP & Enyvi
03. Whine Up (Feat. Elephant Man) - Kat Deluna
04. If - Janet Jackson
05. Irresistible - Jessica Simpson
06. Toxic - Britney Spears
07. Crush - Jennifer Paige
08. Baby - Brandy
09. Infatuation - Christina Aguilera
10. 1Thing - Amerie
11. C.R.U.S.H. - Ciara
12. Bidi Bidi Bom Bom - Selena
13. 2 Of You - Danity Kane
14. Baby Boy (Feat. Sean Paul) - Beyoncé
15. I Want You - Erykah Badu
16. Take My Time - J*Davey
17. A Long Walk - Jill Scott
18. Underneath The Stars - Mariah Carey
19. 4 Page Letter - Aaliyah
20. See You Again - Miley Cyrus

*A few weeks ago Kelly Kapowski lost our lives at the club (IDs, money, camera, phones, LIP GLOSS) and I was rocking an expired ID until recently... I have a valid ID again. :)
**I've had a thing for Jon Seda since I Like It Like That and Selena*** put it OVER THE TOP for me.
***If you haven't seen Selena you suck at LIFE.

Friends of the Time or Friends of Like Mind

Lately when I think of most of my closet friends I start to wonder, "Are we growing up and/or growing apart?" In general, I've had most of the same friends since elementary school but it seems like the people I hang with most are newer editions to my life. I'm not trying to put anyone on the back burner but sometimes I feel like my older friends don't get me anymore. I want to hang with my older friends so badly but at the same time I feel like I shouldn't have to try so hard. On the other hand if I don't do something maybe all my friendships will end up like me and the girl in the picture on the right.

She and I were the best of friends, inseparable really (but I guess not.) That picture is not even 3 years old. I have a sneaky feeling it's just over two years old but I'm not sure. She and I barely talk anymore and I'm not really sure what happened. I put no blame on anyone, I really think that was just the way it ended up. We're not on bad terms. If she ever needed anything I'd be there and she knows it and I truly feel it's the same for me but I wonder how best friends become old friends and it only takes a few months. Those who know us probably thought it was a long time coming but I don't know... Now that it's all said and done I'm down one best friend and that doesn't feel so great.

I hate that quote about people being in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime... It seriously irks me. I don't know why it is that I hate almost anything that rationalizes why life sucks sometimes. I do like this quote though and it's basically rationalizing the same thing: There are two kinds of friends, friends of time and friends of like mind.

When I look at that I wonder if it's true and then I get sad all over again because (as I said) I feel like most of my friends don't get me. So are they all friends of the time? I want to be able to have a bridesmaid at my wedding that I've known since 2nd grade! I want Jinnelle to be my maid of honor because that's the way I always planned it. I want my kids to call these people "Auntie" and "Uncle" so-and-so but the way things are going I don't know anymore.

So I guess it's not the growing up I have a problem with (no matter how slow I am at doing it, lol) but it's the growing apart that's killing me. Someone said you never have to change your friends if you understand that friend's change but I don't believe that. I can accept that people change but it doesn't mean that I have to accommodate your changes. I don't owe any of my friends unconditional love.

I know this post kind of rambled but I really am blown. I just don't want to look back at my life and have a billion pictures of people I don't know anymore.

ODE TO THE BEAVER STATE

I would like to give say BIG UPS to Oregon because they said HELL NO to Hillary Clintron! Please enjoy this pointless post brought to you by lazy Google Image searches, Wikipedia, and Currah.

University of Portland (Cara's School) - PURPLE PRIDE WHAT!
Focus The Nation in Portland.

Somewhere in Portland.

Gay Pride in Portland.




Random pics (from Currah) of Portland.

I LOVE THIS FACE. ♥You Currah

Currah drankin a beer.

Cuteness in Oregon.

Clark Gable (a famous Oregonian) is a hot piece.

Tragic Figure Tonya Harding (Famous Oregonian)

Okay, I really just wanted a reason to appreciate the great state that houses my lover... Currah a.k.a. C. Delo a.k.a. Jessie Spano a.k.a. Cara.

And if you don't like this post:

XOXO Lisa Turtle

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Different does not mean deficient, it simply means different!

This is a very special appreciation post for my Creole Colonel Sanders, the realest person in America (on TV anyway) right now, DAT DUDE, Rev. Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright, Jr.

JUST REMEMBER:
THEY DIDN'T LIKE KING IN 1967!
THEY DIDN'T LIKE MALCOLM IN 1968!
THEY DIDN'T LIKE FANNIE LOU IN '72!
THEY DIDN'T LIKE NELSON IN '88!
THEY DIDN'T LIKE JESUS, NO MATTER THE DATE!
THE WORLD STILL TAKES HIM OUT OF CONTEXT!
-Rev. Wendell Anthony

He has hate speech, listen to how bombastic he is.


Linguists knew that nobody in here speaks English but only black children 50 years ago were singled out as speaking bad English.


The nation's oldest civil rights organization has changed America's history. "Despite violence, intimidation, and hostile government policies, the NAACP and its grassroots membership have persevered." Now, somebody, please tell the Oakland County Executive that that sentence starting with the words, "Despite violence, intimidation, and hostile government policies" is a direct quotation from the NAACP's Profile in Courage. It didn't come from Jeremiah Wright. Otherwise, he will attribute the quote to me and continue to say that I am one of the most divisive people he has ever heard speak when he's never heard me speak! And just to help him out - I am not one of the most divisive, tell him the word is descriptive. I describe the conditions in this country. Conditions divide, not my descriptions. Somebody say, "Amen!" If you can't say, "Amen," you're too mad, just say, "Ouch!"


Many of us are committed to changing how see others who are different (number 1) and many of us are committed to changing how we see ourselves (number 2). Not inferior to, or superior to, just different from other. Embracing our own histories, embracing our own cultures, embracing our own languages, as we embrace others who are also made in the image of God.


HATERZ EVERYWHERE HE GO!


Bobby Seale & Huey P. Newton

I have this very image on a shirt. RevDoctaWright shirts anyone?

Powerful Wisdom Pt. 1
Powerful Wisdom Pt. 2
Powerful Wisdom Pt. 3
Powerful Wisdom Pt. 4



----------------
Now playing: Kano - Sexual Eruption
via FoxyTunes

HELLO BITCHES

THIS IS MY NEWEST POST. SHAY HATES THEM FUCKIN KIDS Y'ALL. PLEASE EXCUSE MY LUNCHINNESS. I IS DRUNK. THE TV IS GONNA CAUSE EPILEPSY. IM FUCKED UP. WATERMELON MARTINIS ARE LOVELY. YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE HAVE A GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND WEEKEND. <3 JASMINE A.K.A. LISA FUCKIN TURTLE



P.S.: WHY DO I HEAR MEXICANS?

Things I Should Probably Keep To Myself [1/3191987]

((I'd like to say that my lack of updating is at least in part due to the BITCHASSNESS my immune system is showing. I am still combating this possibly fatal... cold.))

Though I like to think of myself as unprecedented (thanks Cara), I'm sure there are people out there at least somewhat like me. I don't know any of these people but if you're out there and you come across this danish... TELL ME. I want to know who else is all jacked up in the brain. Anyway, in continuing with my theme of posting things that do no better mankind or make too much sense or make me seem intelligent, I present Things I Should Probably Keep To Myself. (I'll even put pictures because I feel everything is better with pictures.)

1. I hate being called African-American.I realize that I'm probably not supposed to say this/think this and that I may piss off a whole rack of black people while saying this BUT... I've been pissing black people off my entire life so why not now? (Side Note: The Field Negro had a discussion over whether to capitalize the b when speaking on black people and I said I didn't know if I did or not, apparently I don't.) Something about being called "African-American" has always rubbed me the wrong way... I'm going to guess this is because I didn't know very many black people growing up and the black people I do know (familial and otherwise) do not use this terminology. It could also have something to do with that James Brown song and how I can remember being no more than 3 or 4, screaming, "I'M BLACK AND I'M PROUD!" every time a certain commercial played a piece of the song. With that being said, I've pretty much only been called African-American by white people and I don't like it... I actually think it's racist as hell. If I were from, say, Nigeria or my parents were or hell... even my grandparents were I could maybe stomach it but actually my parents are from California (dad) and Louisiana (mom) and I am from Louisiana/Maryland. My grandparents are from California (paternal grandfather), Japan (paternal grandmother), Texas (maternal grandfather), and Louisiana (maternal grandmother). I could keep going back and back and back but I'm only going to find people from the United States, Japan, and some people from France. To me, this means I am not African. I know very little of African culture and neither do any of my relatives. I know that at least part of my ancestry stems from somewhere in Africa (or so it is to be assumed) but with slavery, how am I to know how much? Why can't I be just an American because, after all, isn't that what I am? Why is it necessary to attach the African to my American title? Because I'm black? Because my skin is non-white? I rarely hear the terms European-American or more specifically French-American, English-American, Italian-American, German-American, etc. I can be honest and say that I don't know how this African-American thing came into play as the PC word of choice to categorize us Negroes but I will say (just as I told my white 9th grade government teacher) that every time I see a white person struggling to remember to say "African-American" instead of "black" it's like they're trying to remember not to call me a "nigger" either... Or at least that's how it feels.

2. I want a "little person."

There's probably no right way to say this, but I want a "little person" a.k.a. a "dwarf" or a "midget" (though "midget" is not generally preferred despite the reclamation efforts of "Midget Mac"). I can't help it, I think little people are cute as hell. (I KNOW, I KNOW!) I don't know what's wrong with me, even as a small child I was mystified by little people. My mom would scold, "Don't stare!" And I'd whisper, "I'm sorry mommy but they're so cute! I want one." My mother would then roll her eyes and say, "Jasmine! They're people, not pets!" Believe me people, I know little people are not pets! I swear this! But every time I see one the first thought that pops into my head is, "I want one!" This is followed by internally yelling at myself, "THAT IS NOT RIGHT! YOU ARE FUCKED UP! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF EVERY TIME SOMEONE SAW A BLACK PERSON THEY SAID TO THEMSELVES, 'I WANT ONE!'?" I don't usually answer myself but I guess I wouldn't like that very much but I can't help my natural love of the cuteness of little people. Similarly, when I see babies I think they're the cutest thing in the whole world and think, "Ooo! I want one!" but I won't be having a baby either. I should probably talk to my therapist about this.

I think I'll let that be it for this post because it's already long enough.


----------------
Now playing: Alicia Keys - Lesson Learned (Feat. John Mayer)
via FoxyTunes