Thursday, April 10, 2008

Music Video WTFery

I was going to write about this the other day but laziness took over as usual... Anywho, I was watching MTV Jams the other day (first mistake) and saw three videos that left me in WTF mode but I tried my best to put these disturbing images and sounds out of my mind. Unfortunately, I'm a creature of habit so I was watching MTV Jams this morning also (second mistake) and came across the same craptacular videos. I present to you some good ol fashioned WTFery:

1. Chris Brown - "Take You Down"
*Deep Sigh* Who the hell told Chris Brown he was sexy? WHO? (A fourteen year old, no doubt.) Don't get me wrong, the little boy is cute and all but I do not ever again in my life want to see his scrawny ass shirtless and grinding, looking like he still got Similac on his breath. He got an alright body for somebody in middle school or ninth grade. Stop, put your shirt back on! Watching this made me feel like I was watching child pornography. *Shudders* More disturbing is this isn't just a video, this is an one of those tour videos so this homo erotic act is part of his tour. Tsk, tsk, tsk... I thought Chris Brown was for the children. I also want it to be known that Chris Brown is not slick, he jacked some moves from a Backstreet Boy and Usher. *Regular Sigh* I shouldn't really be talking though since I put him on this list. (Side Note: Chris Brown moves like he's either still or virgin or doesn't know what he's doing.)

2. Wyclef Jean - "If I Was President"
I feel like I'm supposed to get some sort of message from this video... But I don't. I'm going to go watch it one more time and see if I missed something. (K, back.) Yeah, I don't get it. Why is he even hypothetically talking about him being president? He's not running. He's not a natural born citizen. I am lost. I don't even have much to say because this video is so far off in the WTFery zone.

3. Tabi Bonney - "Beat Rock"
*Deepest Sigh* I don't know if you necessarily know who Tabi Bonney is if you're not from the DMV (D.C., Maryland, and Virginia -- I will never explain it again.) Basically, Tabi Bonney is a bamma who has made a big ol bammafied album with a bunch of bammafied videos but for some reason, MTV Jams keeps playing his shit. I don't know how or why his videos get in rotation but they do. In real life, I've only met one person who ever said they liked Tabi Bonney's music and her opinion didn't matter to me at the time because she was one of them people allegedly from DC who acts like they know everything (if you're from around here you know what I mean.) I don't understand this video. He's running, semi-Forrest Gump style then there's some beatin of the feet. I have no idea why this man or his videos exist. Anyway, I wanted to like Tabi Bonney... I did. But with him turning "Lunchin" (a song about my personal favorite slang word) into "Syce It" (and being on roller skates in that video), I don't think I can try to force non-hatred anymore. His music sucks donkey balls and his videos are even worse. (Side Note: LMAO @ all the people who hate Wale for saying he's from DC and they're okay with Tabi Bonney reppin for them. FOR SHAME.)


C. Delo said...

I loveth thou.

C. Delo said...

I was actually going to say "I love you like Kojak," but that would've been ridiculous.